Tinder

Tinder.com

    If you don’t know or haven’t heard about Tinder before then I am just gonna assume that you just dropped from the Planet Blue Balls where the only population there were you and your overused wanking right arm that now looks malnourished and deflated.

    That’s why I’m not gonna blame you for coming to Earth as a sex tourist since our blue planet doubles up as a red-light district thanks to all the horny perverts everywhere.

    So read my Tinder.com review if you’re thinking about making this site your dick’s matchmaker.

Using Tinder To Light A Fire In Your Privates!

    Tinder is claimed to be one of the oldest and most popular dating/hookup sites. I heard about this site even before I started growing hair on my balls and I was hearing about it especially when I wanted soft feminine lips on those hairy balls that I mentioned. Time has gone by since then and it’s possible that this site itself has downgraded and now feels like having a mouth full of dirty hairy nuts. So I’ll be diving in with an open mind to see if this site is in need of a boob job to improve it.

    I am on their site and not their App but if the site can’t impress me well enough, is there any need to get the App? That type of reasoning is the true power of The Porn Guy and y’all better get used to it. The first thing I was shown on their site was a message about them wanting to use trackers through cookies to measure the audience and that I should either accept, decline, or personalize my choices.

    That’s interesting to me because no other dating site has offered to measure my long-ass cock and offer me cookies right after. Smells like a bribe but I am gonna accept it. You’ll then be asked to create an account if you didn’t have one before or log in if you already have an account. Once you choose to create an account they are gonna ask for some details like your name, school, height, biography, and all the other shit you would expect to be asked.

    After all that, you’ll be taken to their main site which thankfully comes in a dark background color that was made with perverts that haven’t left their caves in mind. Your eyes would be saved from the torture of seeing that usual bright white theme that everyone who creates a site like this wants to use. You can customize your account by adding more pictures to it if you’re hoping to be attractive to any of the girls here.

Undressing Tinder Slowly!

    Once you’re all set and you’ve lied without any shame in your bio then you can head on over to the main interface to begin checking out profiles. If you see someone that you’d like to swap spit with, all you have to do is swipe right but if you see someone that looks like your great-aunt's bad knee, you can simply swipe left and the person might not be shown to you ever again except they create a new account.

    There’s another option for Super Liking the person you’re into. All you have to do is Swipe up to show the person that you would drag your balls through broken glass and magma just to get to smell his or her armpit for half a second. The person might be turned on by your feelings and you never know, that could be the start of a romantic relationship that will bore the rest of us who like to have a harem instead.

    One of the things that I like about Tinder is the power they give you to control your own experience on their site. If you wanna adjust your location and begin finding matches that are in a different state or country, there is a setting for that. There is even a setting for going global if you want the distinct honor of your profile being swiped left by people of different cultures and ethnicities.

    Sure, it’s possible to use Tinder for free but you’ll constantly be smothered with Ads for you to sign up for their premium membership. They even go as far as giving you a premium feature for half a sec to try out just so you’ll be horny for their premium membership plan. Anyway, their premium membership is divided into 3 tiers with Tinder Plus being the lowest, Tinder Gold and Platinum are their highest tiers but you’re gonna pay through your pee hole if you wanna subscribe to any of them.

What The Porn Guy Thinks Of Tinder

    Tinder is basically the Magic Mike of dating sites. You are definitely gonna score some points and you might also score some STDs at the same time, so you’re gonna want to play it safe and put an easily-accessible condom in your pocket if you end up meeting a lot of partners here who are ready to open their legs for you. Overall, I found the site easy to use and it didn’t even need any silicone titties to keep things fresh after all this time. It certainly gets a recommendation from me!