~ Pros ~
Almost 2 million reviews
Top class escorts
~ Cons ~
❌ A little confusing to use
❌ Escort profiles are not as feature-rich as expected
We all have that crazy friend who keeps on boasting that this and that celeb used to be their sex slave back in the day and their parents used to be among the people that presidents and prime ministers relied on to make policy. Any time I take a look at TheEroticReview, I can’t help thinking of such friends and wondering which jail they might be chilling at for perjury and the like!
Here is my TheEroticReview.com review. Read it and weep or there will be a whipping for you later today and the whip is gonna be wielded by the horniest teen slut in your part of town who has zero love for you and your misbehaving cock!
Erotic Reviews That Raise A Cock High!
In case you have not figured things out yet, then know that the key to everything lies in the name of this site- TheEroticReview. As the name implies, its main focus is on users reviewing escorts from all over the planet and such stuff is useful in that you can know beforehand which are the best and worst escorts to have fun with and plan ahead accordingly.
There are supposedly nearly 2 million escort US reviews on TheEroticReview.com and that’s an impressive number. The site also has escort ads covering all of the US, as well as a little bit of UK, Europe, Asia, and Dubai escort ads. There are even trans and pornstar ads too. However, the newest escort ad in the Dubai section was 4 months ago, while the most recent one in Asia was 10 months ago. So, better make alternative plans if you wanna book escorts from either place this weekend!
These escort ads on this escorts US site are found on the Discussion Boards page. Scroll to the bottom of the page and there they are, arranged by state, and boy, do the prospect of seeing a big-breasted chick looking for a cock to pick her teeth with this weekend get you breathing a little faster!
One Phoenix ad was of a chick called Brooke who says she’s a 5 feet tall blonde MILF with curves everywhere and a playful tomboy. This petite slut charges 400 smackeroos for what she calls an hour-long playdate and 600 smackeroos for a 2-hour playdate. There are no pics of her to be seen, but she does appear to be a chick who thinks her cunt is special and gold-lined. But then it’s her pussy and she’s free to charge whatever she likes for guys who want to go on playdates with it!
Then there’s Jenna Love, a supposed Brazzers star who’s advertising in the pornstar section. Her rates start at $800 and she’s blonde, thicc, busty, bootylicious, and beautiful. I for one wouldn't mind taking my last breath on top of her!
Another ad, this time in Salt Lake City by a girl called KateLinville had prices that gave me a nasty shock! This Kate babe wants $1,400 for 2 hours, $2,000 for 3 hours, $2,600 for 4 hours and $3,000 for 5 hours. Kate is slim and pretty and talks a lot about how passionate she is in the sack. But she sure ain’t cheap and I have no idea when passion started costing so much!
Yeah, the escorts on TheEroticReview charge an arm and a leg, plus a kidney and a quarter of a spleen! Prices here are above the national average and that could be because the girls on this site are all high-class escorts, rather than street hookers with longstanding drug addictions, poor hygiene, and no teeth! Expect to spend at least $300 an hour here booking escorts, but why book them pricey chicks when your right hand is perfectly capable of being fucked silly!
Fully Erotic And Properly Amazing Sluts!
Like I said before, TheEroticReview has a great selection of escorts US, as well as sluts from other corners of the planet. Quality is what you will find here and that makes the high prices these escorts charge a little more bearable.
Escort profiles are little barebones though. Sure they usually feature contact details and from 100-200 words detailing personal information about each escort, their personality, likes and dislikes, and other stuff, but these pages aren’t the glossy productions they should be. Also, there’s invariably a single picture on each escort profile page, rather than the many we are all used to. Videos and GIFs in escort pages are either unavailable or invisible to yours truly!
There’s some spam, and escort ad titles tend to be generic and can sound alike,
Becoming Erotic And Maintaining Beauty!
TheEroticReview.com could have been set up by a sadist! User-intuitiveness is sorely lacking and you need to spend at least 20 minutes exploring the site to know how it works and what goes where.
The site design has lots of resemblance to forum boards and is unspectacular. There’s a dark blue border atop the page filled with tabs and user options, with the rest of the screen real estate having quick links, guides, site statistics, an advanced search option, and a list of top 10 reviewers and escorts.
TheEroticReview is free, but there’s a VIP plan that massively upgrades the user experience and starts at $21-$30 monthly, with this varying depending on how many months you are paying for. But VIP membership can be gained for free by regularly submitting escort reviews and that's so cool!
This US escort site has advanced search functions, allows sending messages to members, and boasts a discussion board where members post general and XXX-related stuff. There’s even an erotic humor discussion board here, complete with tasteless and off-color jokes that would make your grandma turn pink with indignation!
Spam is present, but there are no ads to be seen, while site features are plentiful, but need time to be thoroughly understood.
What I Think Of TheEroticReview
I honestly don’t run across sites like TheEroticReview all that regularly. It is a very entertaining site with overpriced escorts. This escort site cum forum board is also the place to be if you have lots of patience, as well as loads of money you are okay with throwing around for access to some of the best pussies and shemale cocks that have price tags attached!
#1 TheEroticReview Alternative
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