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RubMaps Review

~ Pros ~

Pretty active for an escort site cum adult forum

Advanced search features supported

Masseuse/escort reviews aplenty

~ Cons ~

❌ Gotta pay for the best user features and content

❌ Meh site design

❌ Frequently confusing site features


     Most of us don’t need a map to rub one out. Just provide some Vaseline and videos of a chick or two living up to her job description at the ass-clapping and slit-widening Olympics and we are good! We don’t need any stinkin’ maps for sure!

    Now, the site called Rubmaps is one of those multi-functional fuckers that does everyone some good in variable ways. It has escort reviews for fuckers who wanna know if this or that chick can really dislocate her jaw when needed, to properly swallow outsize BBCs, and can enlighten you as to whether this or that slut has a bottomless behind in which telegraph poles and adult anacondas can unintentionally wander into and get lost! But it also has escort ads by the ton and is the kind of forum where you can make friends. The fact that these friends are rather likely to be rather perverted fuckers and committed wankers is not your business!

    Here is my Rubmaps.ch review, fellas. Read it and weep, while the taxman gets busy calculating how many times he’s gonna fuck fines and penalties outta your ass!

Feel Free To Rub Maps and Grill Brain Matter!

    Basic ASF. That’s what describes the look of the escorts US center that goes by the name of Rubmaps.ch.

    But then we gotta remember that Rubmaps is more of a forum than it is an escort site. And the vast majority of forums out there look like shit. Or to be more precise, they look like the kind of dated shit that was dropping out of hairy buttholes back in the early 90s and staining clean drawers something evil!

    That said, I do need to note that if a website has content that elevates your life in lotsa cumming and orgasmic ways, it has the right to look like shit, while offering the outstanding content that made you a fan in the first place. So, if Rubmaps.ch performs as expected or outshines its peers, then I will close this review by bawling into y’all ears about how the site looks in play here matters not now and forever more.

    Now, Rub Maps has a deep blue background that looks so jaded you could swear it has gray hairs down below! The site logo is at the top left and is a map of the US of A. Also featured in that location is the site motto and that’s “where fantasy meets reality”. A motto like that sounds rather cheesy though, especially in days like these where VR devices costing 20 bucks or less have been making fantasies become reality for the last few years. Pop on them things, go to XVideos Red, and you can watch the kind of VR porn that scares the cumming of the rod outta you!

    Scroll down the homepage and you will find another map. This one is interactive though and lets you zoom in and out of almost any country on the planet. Think of it as something to help you with your geography and direction-finding skills. Not that a fella like you needs it when you can always drop your shorts, point your cannon at the sun, and by the shadow cast, know the time of the day, plus your latitude and longitude! Try that and see what I am talking about, but only if you got a pecker that folks can double dutch with on hot afternoons!

Have Cock, Must Rub Map, and Titty Fuck!

    Rub Maps, like I keep saying, is a forum in the main and that means it has enough user options to convince your urethra to let out a whistle of the impressed kind! When you pay this place a visit for the first time, you can plan on being met with spadefuls of massage parlor ads from all over the country and yeah, some of these offer happy endings and will give your boner the kind of tugging love it has never been in the mood to resist!

    Options on the top right of the homepage let you log in or register for free. The fuckers who run this place promise they will send a verification link to the email you use to register and that’s true. But be aware that link can take an eternity and a half to arrive in your inbox and waiting for it to appear is gonna put you in an evil mood! Not to worry though, because this place is usable without a site membership card sticking out of the crack of your ass and waving for all it is worth at the neighbors!

    Anyway, membership means you can pen escort/masseuse reviews, send direct messages to fellow fuckers on this site, earn points, make friends, add locations to your list of favorites, and that kind of thing. Were you to register here in expectation of a discount in escort prices, then I gotta say you is a bigger fool than that fella who milked a bull rather than a cow and baked a pie with the cupful of jism he got!

    There’s also a premium membership mode on this escorts US site that allows instant and limitless access to all reviews and content, plus customized avatars, free ads, custom alerts, and more. Without it in play, you are severely limited in what you can do on Rub Maps, both as a non-premium member and a non-member. The premium membership can be paid for in Ethereum, Bitcoin, or Tether and costs $25.95 for a month, though you can pay $100 for 6 months.

    Membership stuff apart, the top of the homepage hosts a basic search option. A bit to the right of it is an advanced search feature and below that is a safe browsing toggle. The advanced search option here does what it says and is not a loudmouth like ThePornDude who likes talking about how he tears up pussies on the daily, but can’t last longer than 6 seconds whenever a chick spreads her legs and convinces him to take out his microscopic prick and fuck for all he’s worth. We all better organize a GoFundMe for that fella, so he could go to India and have a BBC grafted onto the baby carrot he’s currently equipped with!

    As I was saying, the advanced search feature on Rubmaps.ch is peachy ASF. It lets you search for escorts/masseuses by rates, state, ethnicity, payment options, boob size, kitty situation, build, and that kind of thing. Hell, you can filter by whether your preferred masseuse/escort will let you finger her, touch her tits or cunt, give you a prostate massage or a handjob, and have a certain kind of ass. And forget all that talk of masseuse. That’s just code for escorts who will suck you dry, milk you clean and fuck you tender if you are in the mood for that! So, whenever you see “masseuse” in this review, be sure to translate that to the correct term, which is escorts who are well capable of fucking an adult elephant for $60 up per leg spread!

    Home, Escort Reviews, Contact, and Forum are the rest of the main user options on Rubmap. But the Escort Reviews tab is a direct Escort Monkey link and should be ignored. The Contact tab does let you chit-chat with the site admin and the Forum tab takes you to the site forum. There are 21,922 topics there, plus 266,753 posts and it is as active as a Hooters bar on Saturday night.

    The forum is full of folks in North America, Europe, the Caribbean, and South America advertising all kinds of sexual services, seeking sexual-related advice, and detailing their cumming or aspiring-to-cum experiences. One post was about a dude who lived in San Clemente and went to Tijuana for a weekend of fun, only to be disappointed by the chicks there who were distressingly ugly, had plastic everywhere, and were completely uninterested in giving you a good time or even showing enthusiasm while performing sexual acts. Fuck!

    Never could understand why hookers would decide to start sucking dick for a living and give zero fucks about customer satisfaction, or not bother about having certain set of skills needed for that kind of work. I guess they get away with that kind of nonsensical nonchalance and stupid lack of professionalism in Mexico mainly because there’s too many tourists who are desperate to fuck anything fuckable.

    Those of you who have been napping themselves silly all through this review better note that Rubmaps.ch has its forum section separate from the escort section. That means if you are in the erotic masseuse section, all you can access is lists of masseuses/escorts across the US and you can read reviews of these if you are a premium member. The forum side is different, looks different, and feels different, but the distinction begins to blur the more time you spend at this place and go on deep dives.

Rub Maps For The Fucking Genie!

    Well, what is your ass on Rubmaps.ch for? If it’s escort/masseuse reviews, then head to the main page and check out the very long list of massage centers all over the country and these have their address, phone numbers, pricing, and locations listed, plus the user ratings. And within each masseuse page is an interactive map that lets you see exact locations in 3D.

    And do remember the advanced search option here that let you seek out escorts via certain body features, prices, and services offered. Feel free to put this to use and fish out your personal goddess. That said, the advanced search feature can be harder and time-consuming to use than supposed, but it does its job at least.

    Got $320? Dream Dream You in New York City is charging that for 60 minutes of playtime. She only accepts cash too and got 584 reviews, which is as impressive as the sight of a 3 feet tall pornstar collecting monster dick that’s bigger and heftier than their entire lineage!

    Then there’s Thai Relax Spa in Philadelphia, where you can experience all sorts of hardcore brotherly love for $50 up. $50 here gets you 30 minutes of playtime and you gotta cough up $60 for an hour of fun. This place is open 24/7 and has Asian escorts/masseuses who look ready to suck soulful amounts of juices from your system!

What ThePornGuy Thinks of Rubmaps

    I am not really a fan of this place. It is far too colorless for my taste and while there are a lot of user options available, they can be hard to use, with this escort site cum massage center not being the most intuitive of places.'

    That said, Rub Map offers all the peer-reviewed escorts and masseurs you can ever need and that makes them an excellent choice every cumming day and cock-slurping night!

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