Porzo

Porzo.com

    A porn search engine called Porzo.com? What in the name of the saint of unflattering fucks is that? Are you telling me that no one could find a better-sounding and much more cock-erecting name for a porn search engine? Damn! Human intelligence and creativity is definitely going backward!

    Anyway, here’s my Porzo.com review. Read it cover to cover and I promise you that before the week is out your crush will decide to sit on your face and allow your nose and her clitoris to become dancing buddies!

Porzo Porno Sicko Fucko!

    For sure the Porzo homepage and site setup is as professional as a march on Buckingham Palace to protest the rising cost of unadulterated teen snatch! Seriously, the site design here is A-class, but minimalist, and I love the fact that the multicolored site logo at the top left randomly changes a single letter and transforms from Porzo to Porno. Stuff like that shows class and taste.

    Now, there’s a kinda grayish background color here and this makes the site look polished. But the whole site arrangement does feel kind of familiar and that’s because it is borrowed from other sites on the network this porn search engine is a part of. Yeah, the design here, is sweet but not unique and that makes me feel a little bit cheated.

    The most popular category image thumbnails by the score fill up most of the homepage and there are more of these at the bottom, followed by names of popular sluts and big dick owners like Danny D, Abella Danger, Ms. Booty, King Nasir, and Isis Love. That Nasir fella sure has been in the innards of a majority of my crushes. I still remember him giving Miss B Nasty a piping she was never to soon forget! Why, the chick had to walk bowlegged for a while to allow her slit to heal and get over the pounding it went through!

    Where was I? Oh yes, time to talk about site features and whatnot. These consist of a search bar at the top right and a mix of tabs at the top left. The search bar has predictive text functions but is about as advanced as an uncut penis. Text on it states that there are over fifty-two and a half million videos in the Porzo.com database.

    Options next to this bar let you switch from straight XXX to gay or trans, or a mix, or all. Other options seen in that locale also lets you change from the default English language to any of the around 28 other languages and either decrease or increase the thumbnail size. There is also an Our Network pull-down menu in that area that provides quick access to other sites on the same network and these include FUQ, iXXX, TubeGalore, and ForeHerTube.

    And at the left and just beneath the multicolored site logo I was gushing about a minute or so ago are the main tabs. These are Home, Categories, Pornstars, Just For You, and Videos. The latter tab has a pull-down function and allows selecting the most popular, top-rated, and newest videos. The Just For You also has a pull-down menu of its own and with that, you can fly to recommended videos, check out your watch history, and stuff you decided to watch later. Of course, to get good recommendations here, you need to be a frequent visitor and the site will then learn your likes and dislikes and get better at recommending good smut for your wanking needs.

    So, the sluts and penis smashers in the Pornstars tab do not have bio/stat pages. Such an omission is nothing short of a war crime and I am notifying the UN and ICJ soonest! Yeah, this will not stand or be tolerated! For some reason, the stars in the Pornstars tab can only be sorted alphabetically. But once you click on the name of any pornstar, you can sort her/his content via popularity, date, duration, rating, quality, source, and VR. That sounds swell, but I would rather have a bio/stat page where I get to read the triumphs, foibles, failures, and fucking skill of this and that pornstar.

    The other two tabs do what they say on the tin and they better retain their present enthusiasm or they will be hearing from my lawyer!

Deep In A Slit With Nowhere To Go!

    Ever found yourself balls-deep in snatch? What did you do to free yourself other than to fuck the pussy you are in so mercilessly that it got blisters that could pass for grapes! That’s what you did? Congrats champ! You passed the ancient pussy thrashing test and can now get your name written down in the book of life!

    So, Porzo.com is a porn search engine, correct? Now you got the memo better not expect to be playing any XXX videos on the site. What happens instead is that once you click on any video image thumbnail here, a new page opens up where that video will load at the site in which it is stored. These sites are varied and their names are always listed on each video image thumbnail. Most are known names like PervClips, BigWank, Wankoz, GotPorn and BabesTube. But with over 52 million videos in its database, you better believe that Porzo has videos from sites that might wish less than good things to you and your privacy or bank account balance. So, before rabidly clicking on every video image thumbnail you see on the site, be sure to have your ad blocker activated and your malware detector up to date.

    All or nearly all video links here work too. You don’t know how rad that is till you find yourself on a porn search site where every other link seems to be as broken as the coke machine in the abandoned town next door!

What I Think of Porzo

    Porzo is okay and delivers an okay experience. I love the site design, especially the colors used that make it all pop, but the site itself is not unique and shares features with other search engines on the same network.

    However, unless you are a persnickety wanker like me, Porzo will most likely give you very little to complain about. So visit it and decide if you want to stay and make it the love of your life!