PornHub Massage

PornHub/Massage

    Massages are things of joy, especially when happy endings are tacked on! Are you busy? Then join me in spending the next few minutes imagining celebs like Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish, Megan Fox, and Milla Jovovich giving you a massage and at the end kissing your dick and getting filled with that sweet cum of yours that you have always wanted to feed and corrupt them with!

    But enough fantasizing about celebs and  your cock in their mouth. Get busy with this Pornhub massage review of mine and may the cumming gods be with you every time you put your Vaseline to good use!

Get A Massage, Get A Cock Blow!

    Messages aren’t all that they are cracked up to be. They are all just an excuse for chicks who don’t want your cock in them and don’t like you that much to drown you in oil and jerk you off. Sure, some of the masseurs around town will let you dig canals in their cunts with your third leg, but most won’t even strip naked and your balls are gonna be in a crack if you even dared finger them! That sucks!

    Now, there is of course no separate Pornhub massage site. If you thought so, I apologize for the confusion. What I am reviewing today is the massage section of Pornhub and it is, if you don’t already know it, one of the biggest and most easily recognizable XXX sites on a planet called earth. Yeah, it might not look like much, but Pornhub is a serious fucking business and the owner has long been raking millions like he’s printing greenbacks in his basement and sucking the dick of the Federal Reserve chair to make that fella look the other way!

    On Pornhub massage, the content is arranged as they are on other niche pages. Atop the video content page is an option that let’s you choose from all videos or HD videos, as well as another option that enables selecting the longest, most viewed, top-rated, most recent, and most relevant content.

    The left side has other options. With these, you can select from videos, images, and GIFs of massage-related content, check out professional or homemade content, or both, and sort stuff by duration. The image galleries here have titles like Chloe Armour In Massaging the Masseuse, Sexy BBW Stazi Gets Her Pussy Massaged, Personal Pictures, and Romantic Pictures At Home. There are 8 pages of image galleries on Pornhub massage and these are amateur-focused for the most part and of average quality. Images are viewable in a slideshow.

    Ratings and comments are allowed, but there is no direct download link. That’s okay though because a lot of the stuff in the image section isn't sweet-looking or artistic enough to be worth downloading and being set up as your PC wallpaper. Zooming pictures is not possible and that sure pisses me off more than the thought of going on a vacation in the wild and getting my cock chewed off by a rabid coyote!

    GIF titles include Black Cock Massage, Cum Shot On Big Teen Tits, Massaging A Pathetic Desperate Client, Beauty Jerking, and Oil Big Boobs POV. For some reason there are less than 35 GIFs here and that as far as I am concerned is a thousand too little.

Have Porn, Will Prosper!

    Sometimes all that’s needed to shoot your life into the good times is to come into some good porn and wank enough to make the gods of fate so pleased with you that they hand you the keys to eternal happiness and prosperity! Am I overstating things? No doubt. But it is undisputed that even the most stressful moments of life can become easier to live with once there’s some lube on your woody and your right hand has been put to work pumping that organ hard enough to leave blisters on it for a week!

    Now, there are 3,746 pages of XXX massage content on Pornhub massage and that’s an extremely impressive number. Pornhub says that it has almost 75K massage videos and it does appear they were telling the truth and not in the mood to play around!

    Sample titles here include Ladyboy Kita Big Beautiful Bareback, Mixed Girl Gets Foot Massage, Daisy Stone Offers Anal Sex For Her Massage Client and His Friend, She Loves Her Pussy Massage, Amateur Teen In The Shower Massages Her Tits and Fingers Her Soft Pussy, Tiger Girl Being Fucked By Orc After Massage and Big Titty Asian Giving Me A Happy Ending. However, I did come across a few titles that were not in English. But that is not as important as the fact that Pornhub Massage is littered with ads and these will show up regardless of if you have your ad blocker activated or not.

    Another sore point is that there is no means of sorting content according to sexual orientation- like gay, trans and straight. All are lumped together, like potatoes in a pan and that is not very convenient for users like me who might not want to see gay or trans porn while browsing through straight content.

    So, the Tiger Girl video is a hentai production and it is too repetitive for my liking. Featured was a tiger girl getting fucked by a semi-transparent orc whose cock looked strong enough to shore up a collapsing mine. Why it didn’t use this tool of mass destruction on an adult elephant or rhino rather than a petite babe is something that I cannot understand.

    The Big Titty Asian video on the other hand was miles better. The camera focused on the full, supremely shapely, and bouncing tits of a plump chick who was vigorously giving a handjob and just the sight of her jugs clashing was enough to send an ounce or two of precum my way! At 3 minutes plus, the video was however on the short side, as are many videos here.

    As for the She Loves Her Pussy Massage video, this is 1:54 minutes long and features a chick lying on a bed, getting her cunt rubbed and fingered. A guy was kneeling near her head with his dick in her mouth and the way she was eating this piece of steel made me afraid to stick around and witness the mighty cum explosion that will be the inevitable consequence!

    Playback options on Pornhub massage are okay but not outstanding and content quality is usually HD or better. Videos load and play without issue, but direct downloads are not supported.

What I Think Of Pornhub Massage

    I am not a Pornhub fan. The site frankly looks too depressing and needs an update. But that does not give me the liberty of saying shit about it when it deserves praise and so I must laud it for having nearly 80K XXX massage videos of mostly good quality.

Would I recommend Pornhub massage? Sure I would and that is because it is simply one of the most content-crammed out there. So, go hang a bookmark on it and beat your one-eyed snake in celebration!