PartyCelebs

PartyCelebs.com

    Here we go, I’ve got my partycelebs.com review underway so make sure whatever and whoever would distract you or keep you from reading this gets stomped in the nuts with some Timberland boots.

    Partycelebs claims to be a site for finding the hottest celebrity nudes and sex scenes, but as you know, a party isn’t a party unless The Porn Guy is invited. So, I’ve invited myself here to see if this site is worthy of our meats or if I’ll have to go on a rampage till the party is ruined.

Nude Is The Dress Code At This Party!

    The homepage of the site was kinda a letdown because I was expecting a site that would look like it hosts the nudes and videos of the hottest celebrities on the planet. Instead, the homepage looked like one of those weird Russian porn sites that make you feel like you’re definitely receiving some computer virus while being watched by a high-ranking shady official who is in charge of making sure your balls are empty while your pc is occupied with bugs.

    Maybe, I’m judging the homepage too harshly but you’re welcome to see it for yourself. I was able to see their ‘Most Viewed Videos’ section at the very top of the page. I saw thumbnails featuring actresses that I had never heard of before. I wasn’t sure whether these were old movie actresses or porn actresses but I continued to forge on till I found a celebrity I recognized.

    I didn’t see any celebrity girl who I recognized on their homepage. The only one I recognized there was from a sex scene in a movie that I had already seen before. They also have a lot of sex scenes featuring actresses from the 60s and the 70s. So, you’re gonna need to lower your expectations when you get on this site because, so far, they have been like the opposite of Viagra for services to the dick.

    At the bottom of the homepage, they have a section dedicated to the ‘Top Actresses’ on their site. Of course, Salma Hayek was the first woman I saw. I fully agree with whoever chose her and he or she is welcome to my monthly exclusive jungle-themed orgy. The next actress was Nicole Kidman, it kept going on and on. If you are one of those people who cannot do without jerking your meat anytime a sex scene comes up then this site might be a right fit for you.

Party Of Sex Scenes!

    Even though I haven’t really enjoyed my stay on this site because I had high expectations for them, I can still see the hard work that they’ve shown by gathering more sex scenes than you can imagine. They deserve to be knighted if they can kneel and wait for me to take out my sword of a dick. I am still pretty bored with the site but I have no choice but to go in deeper into the pussy of the site till my dick is hitting its cervix.

    I found a section that caught my attention. They were gonna show me real sex in some movies and let’s admit, everyone would want to have a gander at that kind of smut. I was surprised to see that it wasn’t a section and they simply compiled videos of several actresses. My dick was still hard so I didn’t have enough brain power to complain about that. It got flaccid in no time thanks to how fucking long it took just to load the video.

    I gave up and went over to the part of the site that displays actresses and their pictures. I figured that this would be the best way to find a celebrity I know and see if I had missed out on any sex scene that she had been a part of before. I did see familiar names and I went for one of them. I was taken to another page that displayed five of her sex scenes from different movies. I chose one and pledged that I was gonna go on that rampage if loading the video was gonna be slow again.

    Thankfully, it started playing pretty quickly. It was 5 minutes and that was just what I needed after lots of precious time spent wandering this site like a horny bum. Seeing the two actresses kiss and suck each other’s nipples in the video I found was almost enough to make me forgive this site for being hard to use. I still pretty much feel like rampaging because I truly thought this site was the party I wouldn’t wanna miss out on.

What The Porn Guy Thinks Of Partycelebs

    This site may not be hearing from me again thanks to all the annoying torture that I had to endure while browsing through. It was hard to navigate through the site and even harder to get a long video to play. It is clear that the runners of the site don’t know how to throw a party and maybe they need to be invited as spectators to my orgy to see how to make lots of people spray their bodily juices in every direction.