~ Pros ~
Lots of gay, straight, and solo content
~ Cons ~
❌ Piss-poor video quality
❌ Wack site design
❌ No advanced search
❌ Lame site features
Mother Nature is a cruel and capricious bitch. A perfect example of what I am talking about is how she bestows horse dicks on random individuals. What happened to her giving massive loads of man meat only to the most handsome and intelligent of us all? For sure, someone needs to teach that bitch a damn good lesson and give her bottom a good fucking over!
Yeah, monster cocks are a thing. Just cos your woody is barely bigger than your little finger doesn’t mean there aren’t a lot of fellas with boners longer than their forearms. When these fellas aren’t cruising the neighborhood, they are advertising their artillery pieces on sites like MonsterCockLand.com and making the local thots regret being such horny cunts! Here’s my MonsterCockLand.com review and it is only for those born to choke on monster cocks!
The Cock Monster Always Wins!
When was the last time you saw a monster cock defeated by a slit? Never, I would wager. So yeah, monster cocks will always be victorious no matter the caliber of cunts that challenge them to cumming fights!
Now, while MonsterCockLand is plastered to the gills with heart-warming image thumbnails of fellas with monster woodies, the site design is too atrocious for words. It is dated and uninspiring, as well as colorless and bland. For a place dedicated to the worship of monster cocks, a site design like this is like an insult to all mankind and I ain’t gonna take that lying down and will be lodging an official complaint later!
The videos on the homepage are divided into Videos Being Watched and Most Recent Videos sections, with the latter section having a pull-down menu that allows content sorting by rating, popularity, recentness, most discussed or downloaded, longest, and most watched. Near the bottom of the homepage are some photo albums, plus tags like Big Dick, Big Cock, Documentary, Humor, Massive, Hercules and Tarzan.
Guess the title of one photo album. Well, it said, Jonah Falcao- World’s Longest Penis (13.5 inches). There was just a single image in this album and it showed a skinny dude holding a boner that seemed to go past his knee. This truncheon has been viewed over 127K times and fellas were universal in their praise and love for it. I wonder if they would be so ecstatic when they are asked to sit on a steel chimney like that!
Site features here take the form of a Twitter link at the top left of the page, and signup and login links at the top right, plus a language option in the same location. English is the only supported language though and I have no idea why there’s a language option with just one supported language. Other site features include a basic search bar that can be used to look for pornstars, images, site users and videos, plus tabs, and an Upload button.
Signing up here took less than 30 seconds and yeah, they’re gonna send you an email activation link. Being a member gives you the right to upload whatever your big dick energy drives you to. Plus you can send messages, add friends, subscribe to the feeds of anyone you care for, and do other related stuff. The tabs on show are Home, Gay Videos, Solo Videos, Straight Videos, Solo, MonsterCock Stars, Full Movies, Muscle and Monster Pornstar Contest.
A thumbnail advertising the Monster Cock contest is the first thing you will see on the site homepage. Clicking the Monster Portnstasr Contest tab allows more access to information regarding the contest, like when it ends and the voting procedure. Just know that if you win the contest, the rule specifies that you gotta make a trip to Berlin and participate in a live sex show with other over-hung fellas. And no, there’s no talk about monetary compensation for having the biggest woody on the planet. Still, if you are interested, submission ends on September 2 this year.
So, every tab here does what it says and you can check out straight smut by clicking on the Straight Videos tab. There are also 4,612 pages of photos to be accessed in the tab for that kind of media, though the image quality is mostly crap. Do be a dear and ignore the Full Movies and Muscles tabs because they are just direct links to other XXX sites.
And lest I forget, there is a category section here, but it is not at the top of the homepage where it should be. Instead, a quartet of XXX categories are vertically listed at the left of the homepage and while there is an All Categories link, it does not work. The 4 supported categories are Gay Sex Videos, Solo Videos, Straight Sex Videos, and Videos and there frankly is no need for them because their functions are being performed by the main tabs.
Bowlegged By A Monster Fuck!
According to the aforementioned category list, there are 33,060 gay porn videos, 28,761 solo videos, 11,922 straight sex videos and 9,524 videos of undetermined origin on MonsterCockLand at the time of this review and these impressive numbers appear accurate. The average video runtime is 8-9 minutes and here’s a brief selection of the most recent titles: Chilean Thick Cock 5, Emma’s Secret Life, Big Ass On Big Dick, Fellington Walks His Meat, A Golden Fucker and Sucking A Big Bushy Italian Dick.
The Big Ass on Big Dick video turned out to be a 2:28 minutes amateur video of a big booty chick being penetrated from the back. She had one of those very bouncy bottoms and a grabby cunt you could save a boxload of jewels in! The cock in her wasn’t exceptionally big though.
Daily updates and one-click downloads are enabled by default on this site. Videos load fast and play without issues and all I can complain about is the average to terrible video quality, plus the fact that playback options are rather limited.
What I Think Of MonsterCockLand
While this site is generally okay, I don’t see myself spending much time on it. My biggest grouse revolves around the dated appearance of MonsterCockLand, plus the lack of HD and Full HD content.
But if you don’t care about stuff like that and just want to see who has the biggest cunt-demolishing cock on the planet, then this site might be the answer to every prayer you prayed to the god of sharpened monster woodies!