Updated2023-02-07

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Merb, Merb

Merb Review

~ Pros ~

A very active forum

Top-class escorts

Regular escort updates

~ Cons ~ 

❌ Ads in spades

❌ Very wack sorting options

❌ Shitty site design

Merb

    You could tell me that Merb is a Turkish dish that involves a ton and a half of lamb meat and sure as sweet virgin pussy I’m gonna believe you! I have no idea what Merb means in any language, but over in Montreal, it is the name of an escort site cum escort review site that thinks it's the next best thing since Viagra in the bloodstream of a fella with a BBC and a ferocious pussy hunger!
Here is my Merb.cc review. Read it and weep while beating your cock to a crisp with a whip!

Only Fucking Adults Wanted!

    You gotta be at least 18 before Merb.cc will roll out the welcome mat for you. There’s no word on what repercussions underage users of this site gotta face, but don’t be too surprised to hear of them being kidnapped and tied up in the middle of jungle clearings for porcupines to have sex with!

    Now, Merb deals in Montreal escorts only. Dunno why they are so laser-focused on that Canadian city, but I guess that Montreal is where the site admin got his heart broken and his balls busted. He, therefore, decided to make known the fact that the city is full of whores who have cunts that can gape wide enough to let a fire truck park inside for the night!

    There are both independent and agency escorts here and I will focus on the former for this review. Also featured are massage babes and the happy endings these chicks make possible are what keep the sun smiling cheerfully every day!

    9 ½ pages of independent Montreal escorts awaits all you fuckers on Merb.cc and finding one who’s willing to list her rates on her profile page is a bit of a Mission Impossible task! Oh well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration and most of the escort profiles on this site do have rates pasted on them.

    Take Cassandra Dilaurentis for instance. She charges 250, 400, 600, and 700 CAD respectively for 30, 60, 90, and 120 minutes of her time, and that in USD is $186.8, $298.8, $448, and $523. Cassandra is a very beautiful lady with perfect legs, a wickedly full and perky bottom, and full jugs. This hot blonde with green eyes likes to be sensually touched and has been in the escort business since 2018. She has tons of healing sexual energy and I guess that means once your dick is in her and you are fucking her over the edge of sanity, her cunt juices will flow through your pecker and heal you of any present and future sickness!

    Emily Beauchamp, on the other hand, is petite, blonde, and playful. She describes herself as a French-Canadian with body art who’s fun, accessible, and highly educated. No rube this one, as she has a university degree, but that does not mean you can fuck lectures and course notes out of her snatch! This thin and perky slut is 25 years old, rocks 34B tits, and charges 600, 800, 1050, and 1400 for 90 minutes, 2 hours, 3 hours, and 4 hours of her time respectively. That’s $448, $598, $784.9, and $1046 in USD respectively.

    Outcall fan with this 5’1” temptress cost far more though and she offers specific packages tailored to varied needs and all these packages cost an arm and a leg. A week with her for example will set you back 10,000 Canadian smackeroos. Still, Emily is very convinced that she’s an elite escort and that means you gotta pay through your nose to have her body temporarily to yourself, or be forced to console yourself with your closed right fist!

    Next up is Gabriella Summers, a hottie with legs that never end! She’s a 5’9” student with 34B knockers who’s fluent in 3 languages. Gabbie is slim and perky and I am willing to bet that she smells like a home-cooked meal! She charges 400, 600, 800, 1,200, 1,600, and 2,400 for an hour, 1.5 hours, 2 hours, 3 hours, 4 hours, and 6 hours of her time respectively. In USD that’s $299, $448, $598, $897, $1,196, and $1,794.

    Now, prices on Merb.cc are far above what most US escorts will charge. Sure the escorts on this Canada escort site are cleaner and classier and that helps explain the high rates they are asking for. Still, I would say you might be better off staying away from the escorts on Merb.cc, at least till you win the lottery or start digging up buried pirate treasure in your backyard or up your wife’s backside!

Add A Dose Of Canadian Cunt Shredder!

    Need an almighty escort fuck? Like do you want a chick you can bang in ways you would never dare do to your sexual partners? Well, such kinds of merciless jackhammer fucks are what escorts are in the world for. So, seek them out and give them the bowlegged walk they have been asking for!

    To get at escorts here, you gotta click the Montreal Escorts tab on the homepage. You will then be taken to a page with stuff vertically listed at the left and have to decide whether to click on the Montreal Escort Agencies link or the Montreal Independent Escorts Link. Of course, there are other links on that page, but the two I just mentioned are what you have to focus on.

    It bears noting though that the Montreal Escort Agencies section has 46.3K threads and over 104K messages, while the Independent Escort thread has 185 threads and 1.4K messages. Yeah, the escort agency section is far busier, but you can ignore it if agency escort cunt has never been to your liking.

    Now, escort profile pages here are unimpressive. They lack class and order and are not very appealing and the way they are arranged makes little sense. Plus the featured escorts cannot be sorted or filtered.

    Some profiles are detail-packed, while others are positively bare. Contact details and multiple pictures are available on all profiles and escort profile pages are more like social media pages in that the escort they belong to can keep making new posts and adding new content whenever needed or necessary, with these new posts being separate from the main post. And oh, there are some escort profiles on Merb.cc with short videos in which cunts and booties are advertised to all comers and cummers!

    As expected, the escorts on Merb are of above-average quality. Most are world-class sluts and when these kinds of babes tell you to fork over your inheritance so that their coochie can grab your cock and balls for an hour or so, you do on the double with no questions asked!

Merb Is A Mess!

    For sure Merb.cc is a mess. This site is supposed to be all about escort snatch and yet there are flashing ads all over it. The site design and color are also a mess and Merb.cc looks more like an online business magazine than an escort Canada site. In actual fact, half of the homepage is taken up with ads and I could swear they look well capable of triggering an epileptic fit from a mile away!

    At the top of the homepage are Advertise, Montreal Escorts, Montreal Escort Reviews, and Sponsors tabs. But if you want all the site’s resources on a single page, you are better off clicking the gold Enter Forum button that’s a little way below the main tabs. The forum sure is packed with stuff and you could spend endless blissful hours there checking out escort profiles, reading escort reviews, getting legal advice, and getting schooled on health, sports, tech, international politics and so much more.

    You can sign up for free at any time and that gives you the ability to read escort reviews, send messages to other members, and other kinds of stuff. As stated earlier, Merb.cc is stuffed with ads, but spam does not appear to be in evidence. And on that note, I will bring this review to an end.

What I Think of Merb

    Merb sure could do with a cleanup and redesign. But it is otherwise a solid place and worth a bookmark.

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