MegaPersonals

MegaPersonals.eu

    Is it just me, or does Megapersonals sound like a site where dudes with 15-inch boners are made to feel more welcome than they would in a strip bar run by some old nymphos who can still climb cock as agilely as the barely legal chicks they pimp out on the daily? Yeah, that “Mega” in the name always makes me think of mega penises and their cocky owners, who tend to behave like they got it all and got the right to be assholes. Though I suspect I’m just horny and need a teen slut to eye-fuck my one-eyed snake, before chewing ribbons outta its backbone!

    Anyway, Megapersonals.eu is an adult site that forbids entrance to fellas under 21. You need to have a dirty mind and an abiding hunger for escort pussy/boner to even consider visiting a place like that. Especially because it can corrupt your innocent soul to the point that the devil is gonna be so scared of you he’s gonna start wearing a chastity belt as soon as you put a step in hell!

    Here’s my Megapersonals.eu review. Read it and go down on a thot-owned dripping snatch this weekend!

Mega Thots On Megapersonals Feeling All Funky!

    Megapersonals lets you choose from escorts in the US, Europe, Oceania, and Canada. A list featuring these countries and continents is pasted on the homepage the first time you tiptoe in here with your birth certificate in hand! When you click on any country or continent, you get a list of countries/cities to choose from. The whole thing is easy, almost as easy as taking a swollen nipple from a baby and sucking the silicone implant out of it!

    If you don’t want to choose a location just yet, then you can close the Choose A Location feature and move to the Megapersonals homepage. There’s not much to see on the homepage though and it is as bare-bones as the cupboards of an anorexic thot who’s convinced she’s obese ASF, when she’s actually so thin you could smack her down with a piece of paper and twirl her in the air with your finger stuck up her fanny!

    Anyway, there’s a colorful site logo here at the top left of the homepage and I could swear it looks like Ariel from the cartoon, though this particular lass has horns and wears a red dress that exposes a lot of her chest. What big titties she's packing! Underneath this logo is a blue Post Ad Now button, plus a link that lets you choose escorts from different countries and continents.

    And talking about buttons, the center of the site homepage is filled with them. They are labeled W seeking M, M seeking W, M seeking M, W seeking W, and Trans. I hope I do not have to explain what these single-word letters stand for. I don’t? Great!

    But for some reason, these buttons do not do a hell of a good job. Thus, it is common to find female escort profiles in the male escort wing, male escort profiles in the female section, and stuff like that. The only thing this shows is that Megapersonals is not as serious about the whole escort thing as they should be and need a kick in the nuts from a steel-shod boot to motivate them into upping their game! I could volunteer for something like this and be doing my fair bit for population control!

    And oh, there are Contact Us, plus Terms and Policies links at the bottom of the site homepage. These do what they say and in the most boring way possible. Can’t say I blame them for that!

Sign Up Your Mega Personal Dick Slurp!

    A place like this is not exactly features-crammed, but not that’s much of a surprise. You don’t get an advanced search function you can use to look up the skirts of the ladies and count the hairs in their asses and that's a big, bad pity.

    Thankfully though, signing up here is free. But the fact is that you only need to sign up if you wanna post escort ads because you wanna get fucked into the next century for a fee, or just feel like letting strangers touch you all over and drill you more brutally than any Middle Eastern/Alaskan oil well!

    Just want a place where you can check out some of the hottest chicks in your area and all over the US and maybe beat a few tons of hard cock meat to their racy and nude images? You don’t need a membership card to do that here and can look around till your eyeballs are in the mood to cook themselves in teary sauce!

Male Seeking Mega Dripping Pussy Here!

    As expected, the M-seeking W button was what I clicked on first here. This brought up a glitchy Choose a Location window that I was unable to access. I, therefore, had to reload the page. This time, I first selected a country- the US-, a state- California- and a town -Fresno. That done, I clicked the M seeking W button, and the page loaded as it should with dope female escort profiles.

    Escort ads here are arranged vertically and that doesn’t make sense. A grid view would have been a better use of space. Ads are listed by date and in the female category, more than 20 new escort ads in Fresno were seen on the day of this review. That’s super.

    The ads here have titles like Let Me Be Everything You Need, Am Available For Your Service Both Incall and Outcall, and 42-Years Divorced Retired College Teacher Wants Real Man, plus enough emojis to give y’all cataracts. Each escort profile has multiple low-res selfies, as well as contact details and a bio where the escort talks about herself and what she’s cooking for clients.

    Escort profiles on the site do not appear to be verified in any way. That presents problems, and make it easier to get scammed. Plus some profile links just end in dead links.

It Takes A Mega Personals To Take Great Cumming Care of a Thot!

    I still ain’t talked about something and I am sure y’all are mighty curious about it. And that something is a rather important thing called escort quality.

    Let me be brutally honest, I would rather be dead in a minefield than be caught in the bed of some listed escorts on Megapersonals. Yeah, the chicks here mostly look like local thots and quality lays are few and far between. You might even be better off fucking your right hand for the millionth time than calling up the thots on Megapersonals for a mega fuck that might leave their slits in shreds!

    Sure, some of these chicks have bubble butts and watermelon tits that beg for senseless manhandling, but these are often too large and perfect not to have been surgically enhanced. And there’s no guarantee that any escort profile is real. So, better disregard any photo you see at this place, at least till you have video called the escort and confirmed that her body has the kind of bouncy meat that’s a sure match to a needy cock in a thrusting mood!

What ThePornGuy Thinks Of Megapersonals

    As an escort site, Megapersonals is not all that bad. But it is not as tight as it should be. I have seen tons of better sites with better features, plus better thots, sluts, trans and male escorts and there’s nothing on this particular escort US site to make me spend 15 seconds thinking fond things about it while having a shit over a cliff!

    So, I do not recommend Megapersonals and not even the offer of unfettered access to Diddy’s infamous video collection will make me like this place!