MassagePornX
Got any massage porn fantasies you would be scared to confess to the almighty himself? Well, MassagePornX says it is the place where all massage XXX began, and where all massage fantasies are fulfilled and I dunno if I should take them at their word or tell them to go pound sand!
But I don’t like to do things in a hurry and so, I’m gonna reserve all judgment till I give this site the old going over. So join me on this MassagePornX.com review and may the biggest cock on the block see you through these lonely times. Amen!
Chicks Dig Hung Masseurs!
My life could have been so very different if I had been born with a woody long enough to serve as a belt! I would have been busy using that to disvirgin every legal hole within a 50-mile radius and perhaps serve as a gigolo to all the rich old women that own the nice houses in my part of town. And that’s not all, because I think I would have made a great masseur. Yeah, just open a massage emporium, and once the ladies are on my massage table, I artfully get them acquainted with the long bit of rope I got in my shorts. For sure once they have a taste of that, there’s no way they ain’t gonna come back for very regular massages and cum infusions!
Wanna be a masseur? Well, it gets you lots of quality pussy. Or that’s the message if you watch massage porn on sites like MassagePornX.com! The quality pussy in question belongs to some of the most popular pornstars around and it is amazing how speedily they open their legs and start mewling like abused kittens when a hot masseur puts his hands on their body and slaps their fat rear!
Anyway, I got work to do here. So let’s get right to the MassagePornX.com review. A massage-only XXX site is not that common and this is a field in which I would be glad to see more entrants. I was expecting an unconventional site design and setup, but MassagePornX looks very much like any of the tens of thousands of porn sites out there and that’s bad because it is supposed to mark itself out, rather than sink into the muck and become mostly indistinguishable from its peers.
The site background is black or a deep gray, with links to its social media profiles at the top left of the page, while the opposite corner holds login and register links. Registration is supposedly free here and I repeatedly tried to get a membership card but to no avail. I kept getting a notice to reload the page and try again and did that but was still unable to register. Perhaps an admin doesn’t like the looks of my face or the extent of my dildo collection!
Now, the right part of the screen has some categories that do nothing but wait for clicks from you. Included are Czech Massage, HappyTugs, Brazzers, Lubed, and HD Massage Porn and these are not alphabetically arranged. The main sorting options are beneath the site social media links at the top left and these comprise Home, My Watch Later, Categories, Tags, Box Truck Sex, Czech Massage, Massage Rooms, and Nuru Massage Porn tabs.
A trio of advanced -relatively- search bars are beneath these tabs. The first lets you search through all categories, the second allows searching through all video tags and there have to be at least 50 of them, and the third lets you search through an impressive list of pornstar names. Once you find any name you like and click on it and the Submit button, the screen fills up with content from that pornstar. A basic search bar is provided too, but it is an ugly duckling amid the trio of advanced ones.
As regards the tabs, My Watch Later lets you watch stuff you added to your list of favorites, but that only works if you are a card-carrying member of this massage site. The rest of the tabs do what they say and most are superfluous and could have been better accommodated within the tags or category tab.
Disappointingly, there wasn’t much at the bottom of the MassagePornX.com homepage. There’s just a small list of porn sites, plus an email where you can contact the admin. But there’s a disclaimer stating that the site has no tolerance for illegal porn and does not host any content. I hate coming across such childish cover-your-ass nonsense.
Hella Dick-Chomping Masseurs!
Massage porn is spreading the message that all you need to pay for stuff is to suck a cock! I guess that’s good because my cock for one could do with a lot of sucking and prolonged travels down gullets of the prettiest sluts!
So, ten minutes seems to be the average video runtime on MassagePornX, and content image thumbnails are smaller than they should have been. Should you click the More Videos button on the homepage, once the page loads with the more videos you asked for, a pull-down menu will appear that lets you search for the latest, most viewed, longest, most popular, and random videos.
Updates are not a daily thing though, with the latest content having been uploaded on the 3rd of May 2022, whereas this review was written on May 8, 2022. The next latest uploads were on March 20, 2022. Also, as dates are not written by default on the content thumbnails, you have to click on each video to see when it was uploaded and that’s too inefficient.
Sample titles include the following: Super Erotic Lesbian Oil Massage With Beautiful Customer, Brazzers Dirty Masseuse Blonde Enjoys Anal, Hot Busty Blonde Love Relaxing Oil Massage, and Massage Rooms Blonde MILF Takes Masseuse Big Cock. Content titles on the platform mostly do not appear to have been written by a native English speaker and unlike on other sites, reading most of these titles will not add extra inches and girth to your boner!
Something that I have neglected to mention all this while is the size of the massage XXX to be found on this site. Sadly, there are only 138 pages of massage porn on MassagePornX, and that kind of feels like an insult- one that I am unsure how to react to. I mean, there are plenty of porn sites that do not focus on massage XXX and they still have a far bigger collection of massage smut than MassagePornX. With its relatively measly collection of content, you could say this site is not all that serious about impressing wankers of the massage-loving genre!
Anyway, let’s turn to happier stuff involving Vaseline and hardworking right hands! One video I had a bit of fun with was titled BoxTruckSex Daphne Klyde Talked Into Sex By Dirty Masseur. The video was uploaded in August 2019 and is a 12:14 minute long masterpiece that was dominated by Daphne’s perfectly curvy bubble butt and throaty moans. She got picked up from the street and was taken to a box truck nearby with seemingly transparent sides that passersby cannot see through. There she was given a massage and then fucked and boy, can she ride woodies of the oak tree kind!
Video playback options fall within the average range and you can select video quality and speed, loop videos, and more. A direct download link is provided, but it appears to be for decoration or something. Video quality usually maxes out at full HD, but there are also HD videos that look more than perfectly okay. Videos also usually have brief descriptions.
What I Think Of MassagePornX
My momma beat the snot out of me for being average, and so I am gonna bend the MassagePornX admin over a table and hold a discussion with his rectum as soon as I can get my hands on him! Seriously, the site is a mess and everything from the site design to its content is unremarkable. There's not a single reason I can point to that will make you choose this site over others, so to hell with it!
Yeah, I am not recommending MassagePornX and that’s a pity because it has a hella catchy name and could shake up the industry if the owner and his admins took it seriously enough.