Updated2022-12-06

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Locanto NewZealand

Locanto NewZealand, Locanto NewZealand

 Locanto NewZealand Review

~ Pros ~

Has escorts of all sex

Proximity search enabled

Trans, male and female escorts for the taking

~ Cons ~ 

❌ No advanced search

❌ Escort profiles grossly lacking in details

❌ Unverified escorts

❌ Escort numbers are low

 Locanto NewZealand

    Locanto has been around well before they got Marie Antoinette impaled on that BBC that fucked with her so much that her head fell clean off her shoulders! Or was she decapitated during the French revolution? Whatever!

    As I was saying, Locanto has been around and at the forefront of the escort business for quite a while. I am pretty sure that kingdoms and countries will fall like most cocks do in the presence of shit-filled granny assholes if and when Locanto should ever get around to disclosing which powerful men and women booked escort pussy and dick on their site!

    Here is my Locanto.com.nz review. Read it and weep cos I ain’t in the mood to play with your nodding whip!

Locanto Is Everywhere, Just Like Your Cock Is In Every Cunt!

    There’s a Locanto version for almost every country on earth. They are all pretty much the same, from the homepage look and design to the features, with only the escorts varying from country to country. With such wide support, Locanto is often the site of choice for travelers who like seeing the world and can’t do that without regular doses of tight escort cunts perched on their cocks and faces!

    However, Locanto is more than an escort site. It is a place where pussy can be bought and sold, as well as a place to look for jobs and advertise virtually everything. I would say it is a marketplace that caters to all tastes and needs.

    Now, searching for escorts on Locanto.com.nz wasn’t as easy as I expected. The fastest way to do this is by choosing a city of your choice and then entering escort as a search term in the search bar atop the city page. That’s too convoluted for my taste, but it bears repeating that this is more a marketplace for just about everything, rather than an escort site. Thus, expect some running around and having to find creative approaches to issues because this site is not that optimized for finding and booking escorts.

    Anyway, one of the escort ads in Christchurch had images of a big booty BBW. The girl is young and it is concerning that at her tender age she’s already competing with elephants in size! No name was given in the ad, but this chick offers PSE and GFE and is okay with oral XXX, plus rough sex that includes choking and pussy beatdowns. Her PSE is 150 NZD, 170 NZD, and 240 NZD for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and an hour respectively and that in USD is $93, $105, and $148. GFE services are a little bit cheaper than that and this fatty will suck your boner for 20 minutes, and 30 minutes if you are willing to cough up NZD 100, and NZD 120 respectively. That’s $62 and $74 respectively.

    The next escort I came across had a username that said Paul1134675. A husband and wife duo runs it and they offer threesomes and fun times. The wife is 40 and looks a decade older, with a thin body and a wrinkled face that looks like an uncircumcised cock with an eagle’s beak stitched to it is invading her asshole without her permission! The husband is attractive enough and a little heavily built. You don’t need much imagination to think the two might just kidnap you for the fun of it, tie you up, and take turns fucking the life outta you, before cutting you up into bite-size chunks they can sell to the local cat shop!

    The couple charge 250 NZD and 350 NZD for 30 minutes and an hour respectively, but for singles only. Couples on the other hand gotta cough up 300 NZD for a half hour and 400 NZD for an hour. In USD, these fees are $155, $217, $186, and $248 respectively.

    Over in the city of Blenheim is an escort profile by the name of Smash27. No image was available, but the brief text on the profile describes the escort as young and sexy. But for all, I know she could be older than Lord Nelson!

    This chick charges 150 NZD, 200 NZD, and 400 NZD for a quickie, 30 minutes worth of action, and an hour-long fuckathon respectively and that sure is pricey. Her rates by the current exchange rate are $93, $124, and $248.

    Maybe they do things differently over in New Zealand, but what I know is that escorts in the country who make Locanto.com.nz their home are in the main a little more expensive than escorts back in the states. You gotta hold at least a hundred smackeroos for 15 to 30 minutes of action with these New Zealand escorts and that feels like a robbery operation!

Cunts Ain’t Free and Tight These Days!

    If you are on Locanto.com.nz to see what escorts deserve your cocks in them, you are bound to find many good prospects. There are however not that many escorts on this site and that is probably because Locanto is not strictly speaking an escort site.

    Anyway, there are varied city links on the homepage and you can click on any to get to the escorts you wanna bang. No advanced search is supported, but you can click on a city and then click to find escorts within 0 to 150 KM of that city. And it bears repeating that the quickest and easiest way of finding escorts here is by entering “escorts” in the search bar, clicking on your preferred city, and then tapping the Find It button.

    Escort profile thumbnails here are tiny, square-shaped, and not that appealing. They have small text, plus the name and location of the escort. The profiles are in the main less than detailed and many have a descriptive text of less than a hundred words. Not all profiles have images and these images when they appear are usually low-res nonsense.

    About the best feature of all escort profiles on this escorts New Zealand site is that there’s a map link on each that lets you plot the location of any escort down to the last inch. This kind of thing would be nice if you had access to a ballistic missile and happened to have an escort whose pussy you are tired of and want to blow up in a very spectacular manner so that it won’t be gaping on no dude’s face ever again!

    Quality-wise, I would rate the escorts on Locanto.com.nz as 3.5/10. Almost all seem to be crap amateurs and I would say your right hand is a better lovemaking prospect than these Locanto New Zealand sluts! Needless to say, none of the escorts here are verified and that leaves you exposed to scams and the like.

Ride That Cock Till It Drops!

    Locanto.com.nz has a clean and easily recognizable design, but is not the easiest site to use. Site features are average and there’s a FAQ link at the top right for all you newbies who wanna know how this site ticks and beats.

    Ads are absent and there’s an insignificant amount of spam, with everything working as it should.

What I Think Of Locanto.com.nz

    Uninspiring, disappointing, and overly complicated are words that perfectly sum up this escorts New Zealand site. Locanto New Zealand simply does not have what it takes to make an impact and in my opinion, is a sad waste of time.

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