Eyny

Eyny.com

    Eyny boldly advertises that we are back to meaningless alphabet soup shit, at least where porn site/porn forum names are concerned. Sure, the site is Chinese, but there’s simply no way Eyny could mean anything in Chinese or any other language. More likely, the site name is an amalgamation of the 4 thots that the site owner drilled to the limit the week before he kicked his anime porn site cum forum into existence. That’s cool enough I guess.

    Got big anime and Asian thot love? Then welcome to this Eyny.com review I got ready and prosper like your daddy got a billion in the bank and an escort with a sugar-laden cunt he’s about to will to you!

It’s EYNY and Y’all Cunt Sweepers Better Sit Up!

    Well, the first thing worth knowing is that Eyny.com is not a secure site. That means unless you are in the mood to pay ransomware to a shady fella who might or might not be a goat/cow fucker and be living in his mom’s basement, you better not download anything on the site. And why exactly a porn site like this would willingly opt not to be near as secure as Fort Knox is what I have no energy to analyze at the moment.

    Anyway, Eyny.com looks plain and mediocre. The background color is white and there are zero fancy elements and flourishes to be seen. Everything is in Chinese too and other languages are not supported. I guess that means we all better start learning some Chinese. At least it is bound to come in useful the next time we find ourselves in Beijing and need to convince the locals to drop their drawers, bend over and wrap their hairy cunts around our cocks!

    So, there are Register and Login options on the top right of the homepage and the site logo is at the left, complete with a motto that says ‘“Enjoy Your Life”. Registration is free, but there appears to be a premium membership plan that needs to be paid for. But of course, no one's gonna put a mint Desert Eagle to your head and force you to cough up the moolah for a premium membership plan. So be a free bird and use free membership if you wanna.

    A search bar is present, along with main tabs that don’t translate too well into English. These tabs according to the great and mighty Yandex Translate are Forum, Group, Video, Advertising, Space, Ranking, Search, Self-Service Upgrade, and Distinguished Member Post and the last had me cackling.

    The homepage here is mostly filled with hot topics, popular videos, PC/TV Games, recipes, video game discussions, software downloads, and other similar stuff you would find on XXX forums cum porn sites like this. And yeah, there is an adult section with adult movies and novels that can peel your eyeballs!

It’s E Y N Y and Not A Consonant Less!

    Did I tell y’all that this forum cum porn site is all in Chinese? If there’s a single English word here, I will eat my hat and go to the local old people's home for a threesome and a 69!

    The lack of language options is understandable for a site that’s aimed at Chinese users. But it makes this review extra hard and makes usage of this site hard for non-Chinese speakers. For sure, I am not happy about the lack of multiple language support here. But what can I do, save begging the CCP to suck my dick with a Habaneros-flavored tongue!

    Now, Seven Magic Swords Dominate The World 04, Brave Heruku 02, Dessert Reincarnation 06, Theatrical Version of the Journey of Lingya, and Hero Classroom 02 were some of the videos I found on the homepage. The videos here play flawlessly, but they are all captioned in Chinese. Playback is possible in different qualities too, but there are no direct download video options. But then what kind of cretin would download a video from an insecure site like this?

    Anyway, videos, games and software apart, Eyny.com has a forum part that’s about as active as a horny dick on Saturday morning! Of course, you can’t participate in the discussions unless you speak the language. But then, nothing stops you from typing what you want to say in English, getting that translated into Chinese, and then copy-pasting that to the forum section you are interested in. Sure the whole thing is unwieldy, but it is better than nothing.

What ThePornGuy Thinks of Eyny

    While porn sites gotta at least make an effort to look pretty, I would give Eyny a pass on that because it is more of a forum than a porn site. But what I will not give it a pass on is its lack of multiple language support. Sure, this site is content-crammed, active as fuck, and easy to use, but only if you are Chinese. If you are like me and can’t speak the language, then there is no need to bookmark this site, not when there are loads of forums out there that deliver the same goodies in a more accessible, secure and English-flavored package.

    And if you are Chinese, or have at least a passing familiarity with the language, then a site like Eyny seems like a good deal. But that only holds true if you are cool with the danger of dealing with an insecure site like this and know better than download stuff that could ruin your PC or mobile.

    If you are not Chinese, only want to deal with the best, or happen to be unwilling to take unnecessary risks, then you should just forget about this porn site cum forum and go have fun with your step-sister. Just try not to give her too much of a tummy ache with the stiff telegraph pole that calls the middle of your legs home!