EscortsNearby

EscortsNearby

    If you are in Australia, the land of brown snakes, kangaroos, and tarantulas, EscortsNearby wishes to do you a world of good by hooking you up with the escorts nearest to you. These can be chicks, chicks with dicks, or men with cocks, but no granny fucks seem to be tolerated there and that’s a downright pity because aged cunts are generally the softest, and don't ask me how I know!

    Here is my EscortsNearby.com.au review. Read it and go see what the thots nearby have been up to and how much their cunts have been busy rolling around the horizontal axis of strange boners while you were away!

Fun Cunts Nearby For You To Play With!

    Know a little geography? Well then, Sydney is the most important city in Australia and the proof of that is that it always has the most escorts and horny thots. I’ve never been there, but I am almost sure that the girlies in the city walk around with their pussies out of their panties, and will fornicate with anything hard they see no matter where they might be and who might be watching! At the time of this review, Sydney accounted for around ¼ of all the escorts on EscortsNearby and y’all better put your hands together for this escort-laden city on the double!

    Now, there are what look like VIP escorts here and one fact that distinguishes them is that their profile thumbnails have pictures while those of other escorts lack this feature. However, these VIP escort thumbnails are useless ad links. Actually, there are a lot of ads on this site masquerading as escort profile thumbnails and that pisses me off more than a golden shower from a chick with a cock bigger than mine!

    EscortsNearby has male, trans, and female escorts and it is a male escort profile I am going to check out first in the course of my escort rate detailing mission. The male escort in question is called Alex, and he has a 7-inch cut cock, and is 26 years old. This fella is open to fucking and being fucked by anyone of any sex and he provides prostate massages. Alex lives in Sydney and charges AUD 250 for a 60-minute full-service session, AUD 350 for a 90-minute full services session, and the same amount for a 60 minutes couple session. That’s $168.9 and $236 respectively.

    Next is Devon, a slim and busty Australian escort who also calls Sydney home. She is married and specializes in cuckolding her poor hubby. AUD 250, AUD 350, AUD 450, and AUD 700 buys you 30 minutes, 45 minutes, 60 minutes, and 120 minutes of her time respectively. That in USD is $168.8, $236, $304, and $472.8.

    Yet another escort ad left by a bitch named Ashleigh mentions prices of AUD 150, AUD 250, AUD 300, and AUD 350 for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and an hour of fun respectively. Ashleigh describes herself as a busty Italian and that does not make much sense because Italians on a normal have tits that are no bigger than tangerines and flatter than an ironed pancake! Anyway, she’s 31 years old, bubbly, and a verified party animal who lives in South Australia. Those quoted fees in Ashleigh’s profile translate to $101, $168.8, $202, and $236 respectively.

    Now, it is usually a fairly simple process to find escort cunts in the US who will take a hundred smackeroos to be fucked for an hour. The escorts on EscortsNearby are not exceptional or elite and yet, they charge on average more than most American escorts. Hell, these sluts demand the kind of pay due to elite escorts and that does not make any sense when they are just average fuckers and fucktards.

Aussie Pussy Gushy!

    Well, EscortsNearby.com.au does things a little differently than what I and most of you are used to. While there’s no scarcity of escort thumbnails on the homepage, and sorting by location and gender is immediately available, there are escort profile thumbnails that are direct ad links, with this fact not being immediately obvious.

    Apart from these disguised ads, the normal profile thumbnails here lack images and are not the most alluring. And yes, the lack of images extends to escort profiles and for some reason, there are no images to be seen in these profiles. I went as far as accessing this site via VPN, on mobile no less and the issue persisted. So it is either these images are inaccessible to people in certain regions or they do not exist at all.

    Images apart, escort profiles here are by no means the best arranged and detailed I have seen and a lot of these profiles fail to mention the services you can expect for forking over your cash. However, profiles can be reported, and it is possible to have them removed and claim them too. Plus you can comment on and review any of the escorts featured in these profiles, which is not the flex some might think.

    As for quality, that’s hard to judge without images, but I would say that the cunts and dudes here are of average or below average quality and I would rather upgrade the kind of lube I am using on my right hand than go nearer than a hundred miles of them escorts Australia!

The Motherlode Is Shit!

    EscortsNearby.com.au has a very colorful homepage. I would have said the homepage was alluring, but the many flashing ads on it do not support an assessment like that.

    There’s no advanced search here. But site features and main tabs mean you can sort for escorts by location and gender, with male, trans, and female escorts being available for whatever asshole-shredding, gullet-expanding, and cunt-walloping job you have in mind!

    And by the way, this escort site has a blog that seems to have popped into this world in October this year. Sample titles include the following: The Benefits Of Choosing To Hire An Elegant Male Escort, Tips For Dating A Transgender Escort In the Sunshine Coast, and The Dangers Of Online BDSM Forums. There aren’t that many blogs, but what’s there seems worth checking out.

    And guess what; at the bottom of this escorts Australia homepage is an About Us, plus options to sort escorts by body type, ethnicity, services rendered, and location. Just why options like these are not at the top of the homepage where they can be more easily seen and used is what I am still having difficulty understanding.

    Before I wrap up this review, I better let y’all know that there’s no spam here. Or it is just so minimal my eyeballs never managed to notice.

What I Think Of EscortsNearby

    EscortsNearby might as well be renamed EscortsNonsense. The site, its escorts, its features, and everything else are B-grade or less and I would rather use a syringe to insert a radioactive baby tarantula into my urethra than visit this escorts Australia site again!