Eros

Eros.com

    Eros is like the elder brother of Cupid. The two fuckers are responsible for making you love them chicks whose booties you are always putting in a clapping position and whose legs you are are right on schedule to open wider than the Suez Canal! Both Eros and Cupid aren’t here to play, and you need a lot of self-discipline to ignore them and their antics and focus on mastering the art of self-satisfaction through one-handed cock sliding! Or you can just submit to their charms and wiles and start loving thots in a way their cunts and thotfully-puckered buttholes are gonna regret!

    Okay, enough of the lecture, and on to this Eros.com review. And yeah, there’s an escort site by the name of Eros and porn sites that bear that name too. The Eros under review today is as high-end as an arching cunt thrust from the groin region of the one and only Jordi El Nino and y’all better sit down and read this review from start to finish, while weeping like you are in desperate need of Eros getting your crush to open those fine legs of hers and put your cock through a ball-crusher of a cumming workout!

Sweet Cumming Eros Chicago Chicks On The Cross Too Gross For Fast Fucks!

    So fellas, there are escort sites and then there’s Eros. As y'all might know, most escort sites can be rough places filled with terrible graphics and piss-poor user options. But that sure as shit is not Eros. Yeah, this is a high-end place and that means you better not behave like a bull in a china shop. That’s if you want your balls to remain in one piece and not get the diced and fried treatment!

    Eros.com offers its services to the US mainly and that is not much of a surprise, with America being the biggest market for all things fair and foul. I did say that Eros offers its services to the US mainly and that’s because it has escorts in Canada, Italy, and the UK, but that’s more like an afterthought, with the US of A fucking A being the primary focus here. So, if you are in the US and got the erotic cumming juice rising in you, Eros might have a host of fine escorts that need that juice of yours pumped into them at sufficient pressure to perform an appendectomy, or possibly a sex change!

Eros Chicago Models Like Goddesses, With Oiled Booties Like Molasses!

    Now, Eros has a good selection of escorts. There however do not seem to be all that many escorts at this place. I guess that Eros.com goes for quality rather than quantity and that’s admirable. But then the fact that there are not all that many escorts means your choices are gonna be limited. Still, unless you are the most anal-retentive fella to ever put on a pair of socks and checkered shirts, I would say that any bitch at this place should be a more than acceptable cum bucket for you.

    Don’t like the height, booty size, hair or eye color, and that kind of stuff of the escorts you are seeing here? Just hire any bitch from Eros with at least 2 slits, tap into your anger at the low number of escorts on this escorts US site, and use that anger to fuck a slit so hard it’s gonna peel and look like the keel of a 16th-century pirate boat that’s been rotting in the deep for longer than the moon been spinning up there!

    As expected, this US escort site has all kinds of escorts. I am talking trans fuckers, masseurs who wanna pound your body into mush, and that kind of thing. And with the kind of money these masseurs are asking for, endless happy endings are assured. If that’s not delivered, feel free to flip them masseur fuckers over and see how many happy endings can be mined from their cervix and rectums!

    Apart from the above, there are also VIP and verified escorts. Sure, VIPs are verified by default and there are a lot of verified profiles. But given that Eros bills itself to be as high-end ASF, the sensible thing would have been to verify every frigging escort on this site as a matter of course. The fact that’s not the case suggests either incompetence or stupidity.

    And there’s something else I gotta talk about- escort quality. See, while Eros Chicago takes pride in positioning itself as a cut above the rest, its escorts aren’t all that high-end, to be honest. Sure, they look above average, but that is simply not good enough. I was expecting the escorts here to be literal goddesses who can easily give the likes of Venus and Athena a run for their money bags, but Eros escorts are simply not of that sublime quality.

    So while the escorts on Eros can presumably deliver great experiences, you should also prepare yourself for the fact that they seem lacking in some physical areas, with most being girl-next-door types that shelled out fortunes to get made up and photographed by pros.

Eros Chicago Looks Like Prime MILF Snatch!

    Eros.com has the high-end look down pat. The site designer must have made a pretty penny and you can be sure that he knows his job well enough to be charging stacks of Benjamins and boatloads of bleeding cunts!

    This place has a gray theme, with Escorts, Trans, Massage, Affairs, Live Escorts, Search, and Post Ad options on the top right of the homepage. You gotta create an account before you can post an ad here and account registration is free. But they take their account verification process seriously and you gotta put down your details and submit documents for verification purposes. Fuck that I say!

    The search option here is sadly very basic and there’s no apparent way you can look up chicks of varied ethnicity, body types, talents, and rates. And oh, both the Live Escorts and Affairs tabs are merely direct ad links and should be avoided, with masseuse, trans, and escorts being available when you tap the appropriate tabs.

    Now, most of the homepage is occupied with a list of US states, including Puerto Rico. A Map View option on the top right of the page will pull up a map of the US that should be familiar from your days in geography class and it makes the whole thing look a bit more interactive. Once you click on any state, on the new page you are on will be advanced options that let you filter escorts by ethnicity, newness, services rendered, hair color, body type, age, availability, and that kind of thing. Such options should be atop the homepage and seeing them kind of buried where they are makes me a bit mad.

    When you are on the site homepage, scrolling a bit down means you can access escorts in Canada, Italy, and the UK. But, for Canada, you can only access those escorts that are in Toronto and there were only 2 of them at the time of this review. There were also no actual supported escorts in Italy. And in the UK, the only escorts can be found in London, with a solitary platinum masseuse there being available. What that means is that Eros.com is trying to be this kind of rad-ass escort site with international reach, whereas all it’s doing is looking like a fool and setting itself up for dragging.

    You could say that the fact that there are currently no supported escorts worth the name in the UK, Italy and Canada does not mean that there might be bucketfuls in the future. But then, nothing stops Eros.com from waiting till it has a reasonable number of escorts in other countries to advertise their availability. What it’s doing at the moment is like the oddball down the street who calls himself an astronaut and goes everywhere in a spacesuit just because he paid a single visit to the Air and Space Museum on his 18th birthday!

Sweet Slutty US Escort Profiles Anyone?

    There are typically 8 escort profiles on the Eros.com homepage. But there are options on the top right of the homepage that you can toggle to load up 12 chicks in 2 rows of 6. You can also activate another option to dump the grid view and have a vertical list of escort profiles to gawk at.

    The escorts on this escorts US site have very clean profile pages. Minimalist even. And that might take some getting used to.

    There’s an About Me section on each US escort profile page where they tell you about themselves, plus a My Details section where you can learn all about their age, ethnicity, hair and eye color, and that kind of thing. Contact details are provided of course, plus social media links, and the images in the vast majority of profiles are glossy and could have been taken from fashion magazines. You can watch these images in full-screen mode and if you are the type to fap to hot pictures, I just gotta tell you that there’s enough of them on this escort US site to give you an elongated pecker you could change light bulbs with!

    Now, let’s talk about VIP Emily. She’s a VIP escort and looks the part too. This 24-year old hot blonde offers her services to men and couples and she boasts about having a gentle and warm personality. But the only personality of hers you gotta concern yourself with are her perfect skin, long legs, pert butt, and boobies that have obviously gotten a bit of upstanding help from plastic surgeons. VIP Emily looks like a great fuck and if you ever put it into her, do so like you are fighting WWII, a cock thrust at a time, and don’t intend stopping till every trace of a vaginal mound has been shot up and leveled!

    Then there’s Daniela Vioti. She’s in Miami and is a 21-year-old Middle Eastern hottie who was born to wrap her legs around you and make sure your brains get fucked out of you so sweetly you wanna stand and applaud! Daniela doesn’t look like she’s playing, so better not take it easy with her and do your best to get liters of juice exploding out of her holes! And be sure to charge her for your services if you make her cum!

What ThePornGuy Thinks of Eros

    Well, I liked this escort US place, then hated it and now I like it again. I guess that I had excessively high hopes for Eros and the fact that it was not as perfect as I wanted it to be is what the local thots are paying for these days. Those that aren’t in wheelchairs that is!

    Eros.com does most things right, has a solid collection of girls, and is on the whole, an excellent bookmark candidate.