CallEscort

CallEscort.org

    CallEscort.org has a site name that makes you want to max out your credit cards by hiring the most expensive VIP escorts on the menu and then max out their life expectancy by fucking bucketfuls of life juices outta them! Yeah, if you are paying big money for pussy, you better perform the kind of drilling work that puts chicks in the all-fours mode for days after and get them crawling everywhere while holding their torn assholes and cunts closed, lest their innards fall out! Is that something you feel up for? Then the fellas over at Call Escorts, plus all other escort sites nearby better watch out for you and maybe try not to rent you a chick whose holes haven’t yet been clad in iron and fortified with unobtanium!

    Anyway, here is my CallEscort.org review. Read it and weep like any weeping cunt once it has gotten its daily quota of thrusting attention!

Call Escorts and Get On A Pussy Ruining Streak!

    A place like this sounds rad and going by my experience over the last few years, I would say there could well be a market for thinking up rad escort site names. Yeah, too many escort US sites seem to have been named by brain-damaged fellas who barely finished middle school and that’s a pity. So, whoever gave Call Escorts its name has my fucking respect and someone better tell him that I am gonna hook him up with the MILF opposite my house who has bazungas and a cunt so fat that folks frequently mistake it for a Big Mac with some hair on it!

    Anyway, this escorts US site is focused on one country only and that is the USA. Of course, if you have money or just won the lottery but are not in the US, you can make use of the services of the escorts here by paying them to fly, swim or drive to wherever you might be. Hell, get them to your abode via private jet, but only if the pussy is worth it. But how in hell are you gonna know a pussy will the worth the expenditure of a private jet trip without first banging it like a tin pot from 5,000 feet to 20,000 feet?

    Even if you don’t have millions but want a taste of the poon here, you should be able to find escorts on CallEscort.org who are willing to come to whatever country you might be in, especially if it is a country close to the US, like Mexico, The Bahamas or Canada. But you better not be running any sex trafficking scam, or I will bite your ass and have your grilled cock served at my usual weekend feast!

Call Escorts All The Skank Names Ya Know!

    This place looks okay enough. It doesn’t amaze, but does not spectacularly disappoint and that’s sufficient. Still, Call Escorts has a boring and unimaginative look and there are like a million other adult sites that could be copies of it. But then standing out with a rad site name and a rad, plus unique site look/design might not be all that it’s cracked up to be. Or is it?

    Anyway, this place rocks a white background, but there are no minimalist elements in view. The all-white design is enlivened by a few pink accents and the homepage has a slew of thumbnails showcasing mostly Asian and Latina escorts.

    However, these thumbnails do not look as lush as they should and while there’s a fair number of them, more could have been pasted on the homepage, with this site having a lot of wasted screen real estate. Making the thumbnails larger would had been a good thing to do and if I were ranking the site design in play here, I wouldn’t give Call Escorts more than 4 out of 10.

Log In, Call In, and Fuck In!

    You can use this place however you want to, but registering for free brings more options with it. Options to sign up that can be found at the top right of the homepage and it will take you about 30 seconds to get a membership card you can call escorts with and scratch your meat with whenever it gets itchy from all the skank cunt juice it’s been getting slathered with!

    Worth noting is that if you register as a female, that means your ass can post escort ads. And if you register as a male, that means you can write escort reviews. Just be sure not to stare at pictures and videos of an escort for hours, fuck her silly in your daydreams and wet dreams, and then write reviews about the experience. Do that and you're gonna be hung, drawn, and quartered with sticks of sugar cane and sharpened wheels of cheese and I will be presiding over the whole thing! And I am gonna add some strands of barbed wire to the action if you are a rather disrespectful mother fucker!

    Once you are done with your registration on this escorts US site, they will send a verification link to the email you used. This link took like 3 seconds to arrive in my inbox and that’s welcome news, because there are sites that make you wait all day for links like that.

Call Escorts For Features Like These!

    Site features on CallEscort.org are far more basic than they should be and that’s disappointing enough to make me swear off ebony escorts for the rest of the year! Or not!!!

    Location, Post Ad, Post Review, Meet & Fuck, and Safe Escorts make up the main tabs. Below these are search options that let you search for escorts of certain features within a certain locale. But these options are not advanced or extensive in any way.

    The left of the site homepage has options that let you change your location focus. You can pick from states and cities and like I said earlier, the US is the only supported country here. So don’t you wander into CallEscort.org and start looking for Danish escorts in the Netherlands who like cookies stuffed up their butt and acorn-topped woodies slipped under their tongues!

    Over on the right of the homepage is a list of filtering options. With these, you can filter escorts by age, rating, popularity, and the time frame that escort ads were posted.

    Now, the Safe Escorts tab is a direct Ashley Madison link, and that’s a place I can bet my bottom dollar that all of you have heard of. Meet & Fuck is also a direct ad link, but the Post Review tab does what it says and does not even require proof that you met with and drilled the escort you are reviewing. You gotta submit the phone number of the escort you are reviewing, but that is easy to get from escort profiles. So what all of this amounts to is that it is ridiculously easy to write fake escort reviews, either because you were paid to by an escort and her friends, or because you don’t like an escort. Or even because you were bored and in the mood to cause trouble.

Escorts That Move Mountain Cocks and Cum!

    There are like 3,254 escorts in Las Vegas, or so says CallEscort.org. That’s a rather healthy number and it would take me at least a couple of weeks to fuck my way through that much pussy!

    Pity the good Lord never saw fit to give fellas as many cocks as they could handle! Had such an option been on the table, I would be having hella fun on the daily with my collection of 15 healthy cocks and the escorts in Vegas would be petitioning Congress to get me banned from their city!

    Posted on the Las Vegas section was an escort ad thumbnail that read Wet Kitty That Squirts. The profile said the featured escort was 38 and while that’s almost in the granny territory, she did have a curvy and plump build that I could see myself turning into a much-beloved pillow! There was a problem though. A review on her profile accuses this escort of being an unprofessional racist and says she’s an unhappy asshole who’s best off effecting a career change. For sure, reviews like that will kill whatever thoughts about getting together and doing the nasty that you might have about the escort it was talking about.

    Another Vegas escort ad had a thumbnail title that said BBW Chosen One. The chick behind the ad is 23 and calls herself Cali Maxiiee and she says she’s a top-grade fucker who can take you to paradise. Bitch, I told you I was lost and need a map out of your slit?

    The BBW escort also advertises herself as being a throat goddess. She supposedly has the wettest phat pussy, takes good care of her hygiene and stuff like that. But she only does guys, does not want to see pimps or pigs, and does not like giving blowjobs, or receiving oral sex and that is odd for a chick advertising how seriously she takes hygiene. From what I can see, the only reason this BBW escort won’t let you suck her down there is because she has enough infections to fill a shopping basket and every landfill in America smells better than her skank cunt!

    And over at Cedar Rapids, Iowa is an Asian escort whose name is not given. She’s 23, quite pretty, and in possession of an impressive set of mammaries. This lass heartily performs blowjobs, and Nuru massages, and will let you kiss, suck and fuck her however you want. However, her profile looks fake, the images look fake and there are no reviews to back up what this chick is saying. Plus she has 12 ads on Call Escorts, yes, 12. So, there are more chances of Jay Z being a female in drag than this escort being real!

    Now, there are no verified escorts US here, at least none that could be seen. There are also no VIP escorts that could be seen. Spam is present and escort quality is average. Also worth noting is that escort profiles on CallEscorts are not as detailed as they should be and you can go through profiles without knowing much about what the escort is like and the things she is into.

What ThePornGuy Thinks of CallEscort

    I am always after the exceptional, the magnificent, the unusual, the orgasmic, and the excellent. Call Escort is none of these and while it is good for the purpose, it is not a place I can recommend for anyone other than my mother-in-law and her crew of lesbian twat drillers!