Bumble

Bumble.com

    If you have been looking for a queen because you feel so lonely in your colony and all you’ve been hearing from the women in your life is that you should buzz off, then you likely have blue balls and you’ll be interested in my Bumble.com review to see if this is the site to Bee on or if it will sting you right in your asshole walls.

    Today, The Porn Guy is playing a beekeeper and I’ll be guiding you through this popular dating and hookup site that has made a name for itself. So, we’ll be seeing if you’re gonna find your honey to ease your horny ass over here.

Sticking Your Meat Through The Honeycomb!

    When I got on their site, I wasn’t at all surprised to see that the main theme of the site was yellow. These guys must’ve had a massive wank to some pictures of bees before they came up with the inspiration for this dating site. The first thing that they try to do is get me to download their mobile app version but I’m not in the mood to receive orders from bee wankers so I’ll stubbornly stick to the web version.

    The site has been up since 2014, and in that time they have managed to win App Store’s Trend Of The Year Award in 2021 without having to suck off any of the officials in charge of the awards. They currently have close to 20 million monthly users that are largely made up of 18 to 30-year-olds so if you’re a Milf or Filf, you’re better off fucking off to another site where you’ll find more attention than you’ll find this site.

    I heard a lot of good things about how the ratio of males and females is balanced well on Bumble and that is what initially attracted me to the site. There is absolutely nothing worse than coming to a dating site and then seeing that 100 fully grown horny men are competing for the attention of a single woman who may or may not be some obese man in speedos looking for any attention he can find as a sexy catfish.

    Signing up for Bumble is a relatively easy process that doesn’t need you to sign some documents in your semen or drop of your blood. You are given the option of signing up by using your Apple account, Facebook account, or using your phone number. If you use your phone number they will send you an SMS verification code. You’ll then be asked to fill in your details and choose your gender among the 40 different gender and sexuality options.

Buzzing Around On Bumble!

    On Bumble, a woman is queen just like in an actual honeycomb. So, if you’re a male then you better be prepared to be a patient male worker bee that waits for the woman to make the first move. So, that’s why you’re gonna have to consult a professional author to write your biography and a celebrity photographer to bring out your good sides in a photo because if your profile is looking unappealing then you’re better off finding a real bee to fuck.

    If you’re a traveling person and you have an extra suitcase for your blue balls that you wish to deflate then Bumble has a feature that is supposed to be for travelers to meet people in new locations. Travel Mode is the name, and if impressing me was its game then I’m glad to say that this feature did. I travel around a lot and I usually have to manually go to bars to use my tested and approved pick-up lines but I would rather do this from the comfort of the plane’s toilet seat.

    If you’re not getting any attention that you feel that you deserve then this site has something to sell you to increase your chances called Spot Light. Spot Light sounds exactly like its name. Once you activate it, you’ll be given priority status for about 30 minutes. This simply means that your profile would be shown to potential matches before any hotter person can steal your spotlight and leave you with only your right hand as your match.

    You can send a Super Swipe to someone who looks like your soul mate if you’re trying to stand out from the rest of the admirers without having to stalk the person like a weirdo. This feature not only informs the person that you want to swap bodily fluids in a romantic setting but it also makes you show up at the top of search results. Of course, it’s gonna cost you from $1.33 to $3.50 per usage.

What The Porn Guy Thinks Of Bumble

    I can see why there is a lot of buzz around Bumble. It’s a dating world of its own. They have a lot of useful features that would excite the honey out of your privates and they make sure that it is truly hard for catfishes to swim into their secure honeycomb of a dating site. I’ve gotta say, it’s definitely worth the hype and it is not a very hard decision to give them a recommendation since they’ve pretty much earned it themselves.