BedPage

BedPage.com

    Bedpage could be more accurately renamed Bedspace. This is after all an escort site, though you might never guess it from the name, which makes this place sound like it is the kind of whorehouse where you can rent the fluffiest beds and fuck adult and fully legal royal pages bloody, just like Prince William is said to love being pegged bloody by his lady loves! Ah, that royal butthole has been seeing quite a bit more action than most of us can imagine!

    Anyway, Bed Page is one of those escort sites that need an introduction like your favorite nympho thot needs lube. You know how them sex-crazed chicks are and they are always so dripping wet down there that they gotta wear diapers and stuff! Either that or leave slicks and puddles wherever they go! And when you put it into them, it feels like your cock is being slowly boiled alive in the tightest and wettest furnace of all time!

    But let’s leave nympho thots alone for a bit and focus on this Bedpage.com review. Read this review and weep y’all and that’s a command you can have a threesome with!

Only Vertically-Inclined Fuckathons Happen on Bedpages!

    You know, when knowledgeable fuckers talk about escort US sites with clean looks and expansive spaces, they invariably trout out Bedpage.com to illustrate their point, and a glance at the homepage of this escorts USA site will quickly let you see why. Yes, Bed Page is easily one of the cleanest and stylish stylish-looking escort sites out there. Color is lacking of course, but the space in view and the minimalist design is hella soothing to the eyeballs.

    And I gotta say that only an escort site that’s confident of its abilities and viability will take the time and effort to pull off a look like this. So, don’t be too surprised when you fall in love the first moment you see the Bedpages homepage and get so horny you drop your drawers, preparatory to fucking this place through your PC or smartphone screen!

    There’s a bit of a problem though- this place does not have a Light/Dark mode. Sure not all sites have that kind of option, but it is kinda required for porn sites and escort sites. And the reason why is mainly because such sites are mostly accessed late at night and browsing through a stark white site at night can be a bit uncomfortable for the eyeballs.

    While having a Light/Dark mode in place here would have been helpful, the fact that such an option is not available does not mean I am gonna piss all over Bed Page for no reason. Nor will I let a thot walk away unfucked silly for no reason!

Bed Page That Thot, My Lord!

    This site looks rad. Just like I said up there. And now, it is time to talk about the site features, not that there’s an overwhelming number of them. But before that, lemme take y’all on a little history tour.

    Bedpage is Backpage in seemingly new but old clothes. Apart from the name change, both sites are more or less identical.

    Seems the US government got all ornery about what Backpage was doing, and paranoid about what it might be doing. So it seized it and gave the site admins a hella reaming. That’s why they walk funny these days. Hell, the Backpage co-owner and co-founder killed himself in July last year, and you can blame the abuse, pressure, and oppression he was put under by agents of the state. Backpage rebranded as Bedpage, relocated its servers to safe places and here we are busy eating phat ass with spoons and probing fucks!

    Now, Bedpage, like most other escort sites, has most of its real estate covered with the names of US states and cities. Everything from Alabama to Wyoming is there and the US is the only featured country. That makes a lot of sense too and is better than featuring one or two countries and having one or two escorts in one, but tens of thousands in the US. Yeah, a lot of escort sites pull that scammy shit and it’s gotta stop. And I kind of love the irony in play of Backpage being hounded out of the US, relocating its ass, getting a slightly new look and then offering the same services as before to horny fuckers in the US.

    At the top right of the Bedpage.com homepage are Meet & Fuck, plus Post Ad options. You gotta log in or register to post escort ads here and you can feel free to ignore the Meet and Fuck thing because it's just a nonsensical ad.

    There are more user options at the bottom of the site homepage. Included are links to get in touch with law enforcement in case someone sat on your dick the wrong way and bent it 50 degrees out of true. And do feel free to ring the cops up if you are a sex trafficking victim or know someone who might be. There are also terms and conditions, plus Contact Us links. But the biggest boners there are Buy Credits and Account Options.

    You gotta log in or register to buy credits here and registration is s free but not a speedy affair. Thankfully, you can make the process much faster by registering with your Gmail. But do note that this place wants you to fill out the kind of information that could be designed to track you and that’s shit. If you wanna register here, be sure to give as little information as possible and that includes not giving your zip and phone number.

    And by the way, hope y’all are aware that the Bedpage.com founding team launched a crypto coin a few years back called Bedpage Coin. It seems to have a market capitalization of nearly $7 million and each coin is currently priced at around $0.00673. Such a coin makes sense if you are a devoted escort fucker and fully support the direction that Bedpage/Backpage has been moving for the last few years. Not that I am giving any sort of financial advice, so beware and focus on nutting!

    Bedpage is an escort site, right? Well, the hookers here reportedly don’t run free accounts. Rumor has it that they are charged like $3k apiece to run escort ads on the site and that’s hella exploitative anyhow you slice it. Plus there’s stuff on subreddits about Bedpages shadily seizing funds belonging to escorts. So, if you are an escort with holes to rent, better do some research and consult with your co-workers before opening a Bedpage account.

Cunts, Cotton and Motor Oil!

    Bedpage is all things to all men. Sure it has an adult section, but it also has sections devoted to automotive products, real estate, books, games, gardening, clothing, jewelry, electronics, and the whole shebang. Yeah, this place is/was like Craigslist, but then Craigslist is no more, just like Backpage.

    The adult section here applies to all featured states and cities. And you can search for male escorts, body rubs, BDSM fuckers, doms, trans escorts, strippers, and chicks who can sit on your face or dick and get fucked silly as you fuck them silly.

    You can freely access escort and adult-related ads here without needing to register. There’s a problem though, in that a lot of the ads here look too fake and use stock images. They in fact could have been created by bots and sound too generic. Plus the whole thing is not sophisticated and a single look is all you need to see that an escort ad cannot be real. So it is either the merry fuckers who are creating all these fake profiles aren’t very good at their job, or they don’t care. Or it might be that they are hoping to hook fellas who are so horny they don’t look too closely at fake escort ads.

    One of the realer-looking escort ads I saw had a chick named Vicky advertising her services. She’s Asian, slim, petite, and willing to charge $80 for a half hour and $120 for a full hour. I couldn’t say with 100% confidence that this chick is legit. But her profile was certainly less generic than others.

    Then there was an ad for a hot Colombian. Her profile offered very little details about her. But her pictures show that she has a miraculously big and yet firm bubble butt, plus small but nice tits and a curvy body. Rarely are massive bubble butts this firm and you will get a hundred bucks from me if you can make her ass cheeks clap like the planet just won a galaxy-wide lottery!

    And over in Texas, I found a real escort who was willing to show her face. She’s 23, slim, pretty, curvy enough, toned ASF, and wants her nipples licked, massaged and fucked, and her cunt given the same treatment. Then she intends to retaliate with a BJ that’s gonna get you reaching for God’s beard, to give it a trim I guess!

    Now, let’s talk business. First of all, the escort quality in this place is average or slightly above average. But worth noting is that you gotta browse through a lot of escort ads to find those that are apparently genuine. Also worth noting is that there are no verified escorts, which means that this place is packed to the rafters with spam and fake ads. And it is the immense number of fake ads that pisses me off the most about this place.

    And then there’s the location mashup. Suppose you go looking for chicks in Nevada. Well, some of the profiles in the Nevada escort category, both the fake and seemingly genuine, will have other places set as their location and this could be New York, Alaska, or whatever. That means searching for escorts by location in this place is not accurate, to put it mildly.

    Of course, it might be that escorts on Bedpage are rather footloose and in the habit of registering and setting their location in one place and then making another place their permanent or temporary abode. But I don’t give a fuck about whatever might be the facts of the matter and want the issue fixed like yesterday!

What ThePornGuy Thinks of Bedpage

    I could call Bedpages a disappointment. But then I would get sued for “gross misrepresentation and malicious underutilisation of the English language”, because this place is more than a disappointment to be honest! Take it from me, this escorts US site is not worth your time or trouble and that stays true even if Bedpage hires an authentic royal backside to tempt you into signing up!