AnyPorn

AnyPorn.com

    When you are in a pickle, with a woody that has decided to start behaving like a toddler with ADHD, any porn will do for the cum-extracting and boner-pacifying work you have in mind. Ain’t that right, fellas?

    Now, my review today will be on a site by the name of Anyporn.com and it comes loaded for bear with a profuse smut collection. Devotedly read this Anyporn.com review and I might tell you which of your sisters I have been having wet dreams of!

Every Dick In Every Slit

    If I ever become a politician, part of my manifesto will be promising every adult boner a cocoon of their own in every piece of unoccupied snatch in the area! That is sure to reduce the kind of wastage we are seeing now, when twats are free to marinate all night and then get scrubbed out in the morning without hungry tongues diving in there and boners performing an even deeper dive into that slick cavity!

    Now, let’s pivot from discussing my future political ambitions to talking about Anyporn.com. First off though, the site sounds too generic. Like if they held a contest with a 50$ prize, I am pretty sure they could get a hotter-sounding site name. Secondly, the site is very generic, without a distinguishing feature that even a string of week-old sperm might find attractive enough to compete with. In my book, a great-looking site with poor content is better than an average-looking site with great content, mainly because most of us are drawn to packaging rather than substance. That certainly is why we fall for pretty and brainless redheads with big bottoms, rather than intelligent librarians who have flat rears fit for work as a bowling alley!

    Like I was saying, Anyporn has an average site design, with very little to dazzle. The site logo is colorful though. The usual video image thumbnails of chicks sucking cock, being fucked to extinction, eating cock sausage, and bouncing on same are in evidence. The top right boasts sign-in and login options, plus a language menu where up to 6 languages can be selected, English included. And yeah, registration is free and fast as well. Members can send each other messages, and make up playlists of the smut they love best, plus upload and subscribe to content. I just wish there were porn sites out there that give you a bag of weed, and a huge plate of chicken-fried steak when you sign up. Is that too much to ask? I think not!

    For content sorting, Anyporn.com uses the same tabs we all know by heart by now. Someone needs to give these tabs a break or something! Tabs on the site include Home, Latest, Most Viewed, Categories, Channels, HD Porn, Live Girls, and Upload and all do their thing without complaining about overtime and wack stuff like that! The Upload tab does not have much use at present because the site currently no longer accepts user uploads. Tough! The Live Girls tab triggers the opening of the Flirt For Free site, where you can supposedly talk to hot girls and tell them in detail how you plan on smashing their cute vaginas to the consistency of pureed bananas!

    The HD porn tab also comes in useful and loads up 4,017 pages of exclusively HD content. I would have been more impressed if it was full HD we were talking about here and probably creamed my pants if half of the four thousand pages of content were in 4K. And there are like 10 full pages of XXX channels on the Channels page. Each listed channel like Cheating Whore Wives, Oral Quickies, Teens Love Money, and Reality Kings has a stat page where they are ranked and described in brief. Links to each of these sites are provided and members can subscribe to their feed on Anyporn.com.

    As for the other tabs, the Categories tab has a very extensive collection of categories. Whoever put it together is some serious perv I would not even let near my pet hamster. The Most Viewed tab does what it says too and you can search for the most viewed content today, this week, month, and year. Both the Latest and Home tabs are okay and perform as expected. That’s to say they work, but I wouldn’t be relying on them to help you save the world if I were you!

Any Cock, Any How

    Quite a lot of bitches will give up a lot and do anything to get a cock in them. Are boners these days giving out eternal life or liquids that guarantee eternal youth? Your guess is as good as mine!

    Now, you get tiny video content thumbnails on most of the homepage, but farther down are clickable category porn links. Slutty Teens was one of these. Sample titles in that niche include Mae Lyn Takes A Ride On A Cock After Sucking It Devotedly, Hot Skinny Teen With Nice Tits Having Hardcore Sex, Teenage Girl With A Slim Figure Sucking and Fucking A Large Dick, Gorgeous Babe Enjoys Banging Her Pilates Instructor, and Plunging Cock Into Her Perfect Shaved Pussy and Ass.

    The Mae Lynn video is from Reality Kings and on show was a blonde slut battling with a BBC and barely able to walk after it was through plunging up to the hilt in her teen snatch! The Plunging Cock Into Her Perfect Shaved Pussy and Ass video was loads more artistic than the rest. It’s from X-Sensual and featured cock-riding, pussy sucking, fingering, and boner chewing, plus both an asshole and cunt impalement.

    Now, you are very unlikely to have video playback issues here. Loading happens fast too and videos usually feature a brief description. Their quality can be adjusted from high to low, with both ratings and comments being supported. The video upload frequency here is amazing, perhaps too much so.

What I Think of AnyPorn

    Anyporn delivers, but in a very average way. Its lack of quality -full HD or 4K-content is its biggest con, but if you are willing to ignore that, this site can help you teach your right hand the importance of being nice to your pet snake of the one-eyed and cum-vomiting kind!