AlohaTube

AlohaTube.com

Been to Hawaii? Well, the natives down there can be pretty big. So good luck asking one to sit on your face and wiggle her bottom! Need a fuck in the Hawaiian Islands? You might need to bring along a ladder so you can climb the chick you wanna bang, plus a map to find her cunt in all that tons of meat she’s merrily carrying around!

Tired of my tasteless jokes? Then check out this AlohaTube.com review and go fuck a pineapple with self-mutilation issues!

Aloha Ye Pussy Wallowers!

    Guess what? AlohaTube looks like a 90s creation that never got a lick of updates. The site design is so dated I can swear I hear Shaba Ranks crooning a nonsense rhyme and while there is supposed a massive tropical inspiration behind the dated site appearance, there seems to be very little evidence of it. I would rate this site 3/10 in the looks department and that is only because I am feeling generous after spending the afternoon gawking at my neighbor sunbathing nude in her backyard!

So, the site statistics are at the top left of the homepage, and missing it is as impossible as falling upon a BBC and not crying when it enters your dry and chapped asshole! The statistics state that the site has over 14 million XXX videos, with more than 44K of this being added in the past 7 days and nearly 7.4K on the day of this review. Well, these numbers seem as credible as the email I got last week from the Nigerian prince last telling me how my grandfather left me 10 million dollars and I only gotta pay like $5K to get my hands on the fortune! For real, only the biggest sites add thousands of content daily and for AlohaTube to add over 7 thousand porn videos to its collection in a single day is something that the staff over at the Guinness World Records would be very interested in!

Now, the site homepage is filled up with category image thumbnails and the number of videos in each category is stated. There’s a basic search bar at the top right of the page and below it is some main tabs that I will get into later. These main tabs are replicated near the bottom of the homepage, and next to them are some ads, plus thousands of alphabetically arranged tags and categories, and text proclaiming the fact that AlohaTube updates its porn video collection every 5 minutes. Good for it!

Have A Lil Bit Of A Nutty Aloha Fuck!

    The tabs I was talking about earlier are just 3- Categories, Top Rated Movies, and New Movies. Yeah, there are just 3 tabs on a site that’s supposed to have almost 15 million XXX videos. That is like hiring 2 dudes with steel pipes where their cocks should be to service an entire convent!

Don’t get it? Well, them nuns can be rather wicked nymphos and no matter how often they get fucked on the sly, they tend to want more of the cock you are putting into them and making them happy and sated for long is just about impossible!

Anyway, the most stuffed XXX categories here are Teens, Big Tits, Amateur, Brunette, and Tits, with the latter boasting 5 million videos. The Beauty category only has 706,476 videos with titles like Anal With A Stunning Model, Cute Chubby Girl Plays With Her Asshole, Super Cute Teen Getting Fucked, Erotic Stone Massage, and Brutal Cock For Pretty Babe. Sounds awesome right? Well, some videos on AlohaTube are hosted on the site and can be played on it, while others are hosted elsewhere and can only be played there. The issue is that you cannot know which video AlohaTube hosts and which it only provides access to on other sites without first clicking on the provided video thumbnail.

The Brutal Cock For A Pretty Babe video for example is hosted right on AlohaTube and is 6:11 minutes long, maxing out at HD quality. The video opened with a beauty eating a bowl of cereal while letting the liquid dribble down her body and over her bushy twat. A guy arrived minutes later and ate and fingered her snatch, before digging it into her sideways while she moaned and licked her lips. Near the end of the video, he spread her legs wide and gave her a missionary plumbing that made her boobs jiggle with a will. The action then ends and the closing credits ask you to seek out the full video on BSlave.

Now, videos on AlohaTube load fast enough and there are no playback issues. Some videos also lack playback options, while others have more of these options than the rest. It sure is confusing.

On all videos are links to the site they were taken from and you can click this link to watch the video there. And by the way, once a video is playing, clicking the Start, or Stop option or trying to advance the video forward or backward will often trigger the opening of a new tab on which will load the video you are watching on the site it was taken from. That can be annoying. Videos are mostly short too, with the majority boasting runtimes of under 10 minutes.

What I Think Of AlohaTube

AlohaTube is both a porn aggregator site and a porn site and it is average at both. Sure, it has a lot of content and seems to have a better update policy than most, but the dated site design and average content quality means that does not count for much. And I don’t see much point in recommending it when off the top of my head I can name 20 porn sites and porn aggregator sites that eclipse AlohaTube in almost every way.

So, AlohaTube is good, but not good enough and it is not the kind of site that is worth a return visit.