YouPorn

YouPorn.com

    What’s the relationship between you and porn? Like do you regard your right hand as your soulmate and Vaseline jars as your best friend. Or do you have regular pussy you can bang and don’t have to look everyday at porn and depend on your right hand for your happiness like most of us?

    Questions like the above are life-defining. At least I think so, but what do I know? Let’s forget all about that for now and have a little fun with this YouPorn.com review that inspired the intellectual soliloquy you have been reading since.

There’s You And You Too!

    Well, the YouPorn homepage and overall website design is so average it would make the average Joe look as special as a three-headed fuckster with a homing missile of a cock! For fucks sake, what would it cost XXX sites to have unique and super-attractive site designs? And don’t tell me there’s no money for that because no other business prints money more speedily and bountifully than the smut sector.

    As I was saying, YouPorn has a homepage that is about as attractive as a bowl of plain water. The background color is all white and there are video thumbnails here and there, including recommended videos and categories, hot videos, most recent videos, and something called a hot porn collection.

    Should you make it to the bottom of the page, there’s a small sample of erotica short stories in that location, with titles such as Like Tears In Cum, Mistress Cruel Love, Sexcapades of the Swinger Wife, The Best Way To Wake Up, and How I Became A Crossdressing Sissy. These aren’t the best written, but they do have some appeal.

    Now, the top of the homepage has a search bar and there’s an Upgrade button next to this for members who want to upgrade to an ad-free experience. A half-inch from it is another button with a pull-down menu that lets you login or register for free, change the default light mode to a dark one, and the default English language to any of a dozen other languages. Options there also permit activating a VR mode, with Oculus Rift, and HTC Vive, Samsung VR, Google’s Daydream and other headsets supported.

    The main tabs on YouPorn are right at the top of the homepage and these comprise Videos, Categories, Live Sex, Fuck Now, Live Cams, Erotica, and Pornstars. Click on the latter tab and you can check out the most popular, most trending, most subscribed, and most viewed, or an alphabetical list of all XXX stars on YouPorn. These sluts have a very small bio page and included are girls like Abella Danger, Angela White, Ava Addams, and Elsa Jean.

    The Erotica tab hosts all the erotic stories on this site and there are like 30 pages of them. That’s enough reading material to see you through this Christmas and well into next year’s edition of Easter!

    Kindly ignore the Fuck Now, Live Sex, and Live Cams tabs because they are essentially useless. That leaves the duo of Categories and Video tabs. The first has a pull-down menu and the options here are impressively diverse. Like I can’t remember when last I saw these kinds of options on a category tab.

    Available Options allow checking out the top trending categories or all categories. You can also view the different categories of the most popular porn in a good number of countries. There are 4 main XXX categories here- Story, Action, Stars, and Details and these make it possible to sort out the smut on YouPorn based on the body type, ethnicity, sexual orientation and age of the model, and lots more. Two thumbs up to the YouPorn team for something like this.

    The Videos tab also has a pull-down menu and plenty of options. You can check out recommended, newest videos, most rated and most viewed videos, as well as the most favorite and most-discussed videos.

YouPorn Smut

    YouPorn.com has an average collection of XXX. Some are in 480p, 720p, and full HD. The newest videos are usually in 2k and 4k quality.

    But it is not as easy as it sounds, because standard members are restricted to full HD and lesser content, while premium members get to fill their eyeballs and craniums with 2K and 4K content. There are also videos that only premium members are allowed to wank to.

    The average video runtime is around 7 minutes and videos are quick to load and easy to play. They lack descriptions but do have tags and categories. And if you are logged in, you can rate a video and subscribe to the person or channel that uploaded it.

    And by the way, this site relies a lot on ad revenues. That means you gotta disable your ad blocker before you can play a video. At least that was my experience. If that’s unpalatable, you can spring for premium membership.

    I had quite a bit of fun with a video titled Jane Liu and Zia Team Up On My Cock. This 6:30 minutes video opens with a young Asian girl being fucked from the back while she’s sucking the titties of another girl. After a few seconds, the dick in this girl is removed and rammed into the pussy of the other girl who has a curvier butt and a butt plug guarding her asshole! The two young and very pretty Asian chicks take turns welcoming a rigid dick in their main slits and act like they want to be doing this forever!

    Videos on YouPorn play as smoothly as buttermilk galloping down the throat of a starved and weary traveler and there’s no buffering. Dates are lacking though, so it is impossible to say for sure what the upload frequency is like.

What I Think of YouPorn

    I was prepared to dismiss YouPorn, but for all its faults it still has some deeply compelling features and is worth a look at the least.