TheClassicPorn

TheClassicPorn.com

    TheClassicPorn.com is one of those fricking websites that thinks vintage porn is the acme of excellence. The site only deals in porn of the sort your parents used to beat off to in the basement when everyone was asleep. Here, you can find smut from the 60s to the 90s, plus plenty of vintage porn star bios. That means you can read up on some of the sluttiest and prettiest porn stars ever liveth and possibly try to imitate their cumming exploits!… Ready for a blast to the past? Then read our TheClassicPorn review.

Porn In The Days Gone By

    TheClassicPorn has been offering vintage fapping services since 2006. No one is complaining, which tells us that they are indeed doing a lot of things right.

    As this is a site focused on vintage porn it has a vintage look and there’s even a glowing disco ball near the top of the page for those who are ready to get all groovy. This is also where TheClassicPorn touts itself as the best thing since sliced bread, boasting as it does more than 8,000 porn star bios, over 8,300 movies, and exactly 11,538 pictures.

    The site logo is a rainbow-hued classic and can be found at the top left of the page. A search bar is at the middle part and using this to search for vintage DVDs and porn stars is a breeze.

    Access and login tabs are at the far right. It turns out that you can’t log in to this site without coughing up some bills. The bill is $34.95 to watch all the vintage porn you like for a month. Otherwise, what you can see on the site will be restricted.

    Home, DVDs, Categories, and Pornstars are the main tabs on the site, with the last three coming with a pull-down menu. A category list is provided at the left of the page and you can toggle this from straight to gay porn and get a good list of categories that lead to porn any cock can cheerfully cum too. Enema, Black, Anal, Asian, Big Ass, Deep Throat, and Teen are just a few of the many categories available on this site.

    The left side of the page also has options to search through the provided selection of porn by year, language and country. It also has links to what they say are some of the best classic porn stars.

    A short bio of these babes is provided, plus pics and vids. We saw names like Brigitte Lahaie, Christy Canyon, Kay Parker, Annette Haven, and Traci Lords. We don’t know these babes, but they do look very fabulous and have been sucking cock since you were sucking your mama's nipples!

The Main Part Of The Matter

    The main page in TheClassicPorn.com has some of the most popular vintage films, latest added films, top-rated films. The most popular section has films like Tarzan X: Shame of Jane, Unnatural Family, Big John, Russian Teens, and Anal Honey Pie.

    We weren’t logged in, but that didn’t stop us from deciding to watch the Tarzan X trailer. We figured maybe we could learn a few things and be on hand to console Jane if a cock should enter a hole it is not meant for!

    Fortunately, our consolation was not needed. The film was 6.13 minutes long and appeared to have been shot somewhere in Africa. There appeared to be more than one Tarzan and Jane in the movie and they are all focused on bonking each other silly and eating all the cock or cunt they can reach.

    We watched a few other trailers and they were more than adequate. Of course, the video quality is not as good as more modern ones, but that is to be expected since these are all vintage XXX shot on bulky cameras that lacked HD.

    Apart from being able to watch full-length movies rather than trailers, site members of TheClassicPorn can download any movie they care for and leave their comments.

What We Think

    TheClassicPorn helps keep alive classic porn that would otherwise be forgotten. The site is well designed and quite easy to use, has porn that caters to both straight and gay tastes, plus plenty of vintage porn star bios that any fapper would be obliged to study up on.

    Overall, our biggest complaint is that the site is not free. But then the best things in life seldom are.

     Should you have a hankering for vintage porn and vintage XXX action, TheClassicPorn.com is certain to treat you right.