PornoHammer

PornoHammer.com

    Here comes the hammer. Well, my pornohammer.com review to be exact. The word hammer does sound like it should go with “porno” but I’m sure no one gives a flying fuck about that. We all want to get hammered on some good porno content.

    I’ll be hammering my way into this site by force if necessary just so I can get y’all all the info you need to stay here or steer clear of this site.

Here Comes The Hammer!

    I wonder if MC Hammer has anything to do with this site. After all those hard years rapping he may want to opt for a career where the only hard thing is his meat. I have been specially called to give this site my attention even though I could be balls-deep in the sexy and horny women in my harem. Don’t let anyone tell you The Porn Guy isn’t a caring guy. I should be given the keys to the city or the Nobel peace prize for bringing peace to wanking again.

    I got on the site and saw that everything was in German. I didn’t know any German because I had used all my language-learning skills to learn the few Spanish words that’ll get me into the spicy-hot pussy of the closest Latina bitch that I find. Thanks to my browser’s translation feature I was finally able to understand all I was seeing. The site looked like a low-budget type and the homepage looked like you could find it a million times on other sites.

    There was no way to opt for a dark background theme so I had to strain my eyeballs on their bright-ass site. The design of the site wouldn’t win any prizes for certain. Let me not even get started on the annoying Ads I could see showing their ugly keister to anyone without any consent. I do understand these sites have to make their money somehow or their owners would be on the street giving lots of sucky-sucky action just to be able to afford a meal. So, I won’t be too harsh on them even do Ads are an arch-enemy.

Meat-Beating With A Pornohammer!

    On the top of the homepage were four options to choose from. These were; Live Sex, Sextreffen, WhatsApp, and, Onlyfans. Those were boring options to me so I kept looking for what would be of interest to the good wankers visiting the site. So I checked out the categories that were on the homepage. There were all kinds of categories like; Masturbation, Interracial sex, Latina sex, Costume sex, Handjob, Group sex, Lesbian sex, MILF sex, etc. They definitely weren’t stingy with the categories.

    They also had a section below that named ‘Popular porn movies for free” and I won’t even lie, the videos there looked boring as fuck and very old school. I would like to think that the good and horny people of Germany would rather prefer modern smut from this era. Or maybe they are all in favor of those tattooed male actors and women with plastic tits being shot on a camera that blurs out all the good parts you wanna see like that pussy in HD. I was gonna have to find somewhere else to check out their smut.

Hammering Out The Kinks!

    Among those many categories, I was gonna have to start with one. I was torn between checking out their interracial category and their threesome sex category. In the end, I chose both. I wanted to have a wanking threesome with both of those categories. Plus, I hadn’t really sent a lot of diversity on the site so I wanted to know if that category would have only 2 or 3 videos. Maybe I might even get to see a sexy Asian woman being fucked with some white frankfurter? 

    The videos in the interracial category were a mix of modern and ancient smut. But what they did have in common was the abundance of a BBC-wielder sticking it deep into some white ass or cunt. I didn’t find super long videos. Most were 6-7 minutes in length. I did see one that was up to an hour of smut. So, you’re gonna have to either watch many videos or go for the rare super long one. It all depends on how fast you want to bust a nut.

    Their threesome category had more modern videos thankfully. The actresses all looked unknown. There were a few popular ones though. I spent a lot of time in this section for science of course, and now I was ready to draw my conclusion on this German site. Even though the videos were outdated sometimes, the site managed to make an impression. 

What The Porn Guy Thinks Of Pornohammer

    Pornohammer didn’t always hit the nail on the head but it was fun enough to be visited twice. I was let down by the design when I came to the site but we all know Germans for high efficiency rather than high art. The site was efficiently able to keep a dick standing in attention for a long time and that is very important in the business of wanking. Not all their videos look like they were made in this century but the other videos more than make up for it. This site gets a recommendation from me.