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NZPersonals Review

~ Pros ~

Some advanced member filtering options

Both group and one-on-one chats are available

Active community

~ Cons ~

❌ Fake profiles

❌ Lame and dated site design

❌ The best site features are not free


    Not too many of us can find New Zealand on a map, and that holds even if finding it has a $1 billion cash prize attached, in much the same manner that a grippy cunt likes attaching itself to well-seasoned BBCs! Got the skills to do better in geography than most of us? Then good luck with ya and better go use those skills for stuff like finding which countries have the prettiest and wettest cunts that marinate all night so much they kind of squelch when you part the legs of the owner, preparatory to eating her out and turning her brains to pudding, via an epic jackhammer drilling!

    Anyway, here’s my NZPersonals.com review. Read it and weep just like a thot cunt overdosing on an uncut monster cock with a sharp beak!

Put In Some New Zeal And Fuck Snatches In Swatches!

    So, NZPersonals.com first saw the light of the day back in 1999. Yeah, that means it is older than some of you wankers reading this review. Plus the stuff that has been said and done on its pages is something that would get your right hand paralyzed with shock if it ever got literate!

    Info on the homepage states that site availability is open to folks in Australia, New Zealand, and Pacific Islanders and there’s a total of 34,665 active members. That’s not too shabby, but I was expecting folks in them islands to be hornier and more eager to get membership cards on escort sites.

    Anyway, NZPersonals is not really an escort website. It is more like a place where folks can make friends, find dates, and yes, arrange to fuck each other’s brains out and cum on the faces of kangaroos or something like that! Of course, there are adult ads here, and I will perform my usual dive into them a little while later.

    To get into NZPersonals you gotta sign up, and during the signing up process, you gotta state if you are there for dates or adult-related fun. If you are a perpetually horny wanker like me and choose the latter option, you will be presented with an option to sign up as a sex worker looking for fellas to fuck her over the rainbow and deep into the ravines of the Grand Canyon or something!

    The registration process is simple enough. You gotta enter your email, DOB, marital status, sexuality, country, what you are looking for, and that kind of stuff. That said, if you are not in New Zealand, Australia, and other supported countries, you really cannot register here. Sure you can try, but in the end, the only thing you will be seeing on your PC screen is instructions to contact the site admin, and that’s because your registration details somehow went missing.

Fuck That Personal Shit!

    Like I said, you gotta be in New Zealand, Australia, and a few other supported islands to sign up on NZPersonals.com. Using a VPN ain’t gonna let you squeak past the AI they got there that’s blocking all registration requests from people that are not within a certain geographical area.

    And like I said earlier, NZPersonals is more than an escort site. Think of it like Facebook on steroids and without anal-retentive admins who are against all forms of swearing and nudity. Keep your eyes peeled and you might meet the love of your life on the site, or come across a big booty hooker who gives you the worst case of the clap that your doctors have ever seen, and which makes you feel like you are pissing broken glass that was marinated overnight in ranch dressing!

    So, once you successfully sign up here, you can start chatting with whoever catches your fancy and fill up your photo gallery with images that are bound to draw comments and approving whistles and share these images with anyone you like. Just be aware that the internet never forgets and posting racy images on a site like this can bite you in the ass later. Yeah, what if one day you decide to run for public office and your opponents decide that the intimate pictures of yourself you shared on this site should be publicized to the farthest corner of the planet or something? So, be careful on sites like these, fellas.

    Anyway, on NZPersonals, there’s a Group Chat option that enables lots of fuckers to come together and talk about topics of interest like politics, religion, sports, morning wood, and the amazingly rejuvenating powers of hardcore BBC pounding at midnight! You can even choose to talk with people in your area, or region, as well as those who meet certain criteria like gender or age. That makes for pretty insightful and no-holds-barred conversations.

    Don’t like someone? Then just tap the Block User option and you won’t hear from them again. And if you wanna get someone in trouble, you can just report them to the admin and moderators for a rule violation and their ass might soon be toast on a roast! Got someone on the site you are crushing on? Then maybe send them a virtual gift and wait to see if that’s what it takes to make them open their legs -and keep it open!- for you!

    Now, while NZPersonals is free, there IS a premium option. Springing for this serves to distinguish you from others and gives you options to reach and interact with a greater number of people. Plus it unlocks a webcam feature that lets you video chat with other fuckers on the site and speedily brings new announcements, events, and discussions your way.

    And for sure, there’s a very active community here, and anytime you log in you are sure to see at least a thousand folks online

What I Think Of NZPersonals

    Well, NZPersonals is not that bad, but it ain’t all that good either. It could be prettier, more polished, and more secure and is not something I feel like recommending, especially to enthusiastic wanker friends of mine who don’t call New Zealand, Australia and the surrounding islands home.

   I would give this escort cum dating site a pass and that’s it.

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