Javslon

Javslon.com

And here I am on day 599 of my JAV site review journey! It sure hasn’t been easy and I am expecting a Congressional Medal of Freedom by the time I am through with all these JAV reviews that makes my woody want to ram it home into the face of every cutie it sees!

Anyway, I guess it is time to introduce y’all to the temporary object of my affection. I am talking of JAVSlon.com, a JAV site that offers nothing but JAV XXX for the deserving to milk themselves into a coma if they so desire!

Here’s my JAVSlon.com review. There’s none better than it or I will eat my hat and tongue your asshole seconds after!

The Sweet Lord Of JAV Fucks!

    You know, the cock is somehow sentient in that it always knows when you are fapping to JAV XXX. That’s why you cum better then, with your jism being thick enough to stand upright on its own if you were to shoot your wad vertically!

Now, JAVSlon has a somewhat crowded homepage. It is not too bad, but if someone were to call it average I would have to mostly agree.

A light gray serves as the background color here and the black header atop the page has the site logo, a basic search bar, a red sign-in/login button, and the main tabs. The site logo is a pink elephant that looks rather surprised at the beauties it is seeing on this JAV site and who can blame it! Let’s just hope it does not decide to see if it can fit its elephant dick into the slit of a JAV cutie!

The main tabs on the site are fewer than most of us would expect. They are Categories, All Video, JAV Lesbian, and OnlyFan SiteRip. Registration is a free but not very speedy affair that gives you the power to add whatever you wish to add to your favorite list and make comments on any ovary-shredding JAV smut you care for!

So, the OnlyFans SiteRip tab does what it says by taking you to a site where you can download porn rips. The JAV Lesbian tab triggers the opening of the JAVUp.org site and the only useful tabs are the Categories and All Videos tabs.

Amateur, Anal, Blowjob, Bondage, Couple, Drama, Erotic, Face sitting, Glasses, Nurse, Public, Squirt, and Wife are some of the many supported categories. I was expecting each category thumbnail to have a number indicating how many videos it contains, but that was not to be. A feature like that can come in useful for content sorting and including it wouldn’t have been resource-intensive.

To complete the overview of the JAVSlon homepage, most of the space is taken up by content image thumbnails. Plus there’s a detailed About Us at the bottom, and a series of top posts, tags, and partner sites on the left side of the page. Also located in that position is a calendar for sorting content by date, as well as links to censored and uncensored content, JAV Idols and teens, and Japanese BDSM.

The JAV Idols link does not lead to model bio pages though and instead directs you to varied content. But it is difficult to be very sure about that since stuff here is usually titled in Japanese and the only time I speak that is when I am dreaming of bedding the top JAV sluts in existence!

The JAV-Sucking Side Of Life!

    I have bad news for those of you who search for and find the smut titles I usually list during my reviews and fap to these without my permission. Them fellas do not even have the decency to invite me for a collaborative wankathon, so they are on my shit list! The bad news in question is that movie titles here are almost all in Japanese. So no porn titles for y’all today!

Want more bad news? Okay then. Firstly, JAVSlon does not seem to host most of its content. In most cases, clicking on a content image thumbnail will only get you a download link where you can watch or download the stuff on Keep2Share and that is not free. Secondly, for those videos that DO play, the quality is very low -360p or so- and only by buying a Premium Pro account on Keep2Share can you watch high-resolution and full length videos of the porn in question and all others too.

I don’t know about you, but I have a natural aversion to paying for porn. In fact, I don’t think I have ever paid for porn and I will maintain that position even though my credit card history has me frequently paying for celeb leak videos and images that mostly haven’t made it to the eyeballs of the general public!

Anyway, if you do succeed in making a video play on JAVSlon, you will find the quality non-user adjustable. But you can at least adjust the playback speed and watch what you came for in fullscreen while hoping that the few minutes of playback given to you as a non-premium member would be long enough to fulfill your fapping needs!

What I Think Of JAVSlon

JAVSlon is like that curvy chick you meet at a bar and buy a drink for. And then she smiles at you and you discover she has no teeth and a bifurcated tongue. But you try to make the best of a bad situation by asking her to go with you to the gents, and there you stick your hand down her jeans and discover that the smell from her cunt has the power to annihilate all life on earth!

That’s right, JAVSlon is a colorful mess. And I would rather shoot my balls off and serve it at the dinner party I got planned this weekend than ask y’all to bookmark it!