HotPornTubes

HotPornTubes.com

    Hotporntubes, the free porn site that sounds like it was named by an extremely horny guy that couldn’t wait to go back to splurging his man milk just about everywhere. You can almost see him coming up with the name in seconds on his whiteboard just so he can run off to his computer to wank off for hours to the nearest feet pictures or whatever he could get his free left hand on.

    My task today as The Porn Guy is the type that gets you a Medal of Honor for bravery in the face of action. And as you know, action of the erotic variety is what I seek on Hotporntubes. That is assuming this free porn site doesn’t end up feeling like getting a long blowjob from a bitch who only uses teeth. I guess we’ll see, all will be revealed in this Hotporntubes Review.

Steamy experience on Hotporntubes?

    The main background color of this porn site is brown. That is a little quirky, but I will allow it because it is easy on the eyes. You’ll also see only a hint of white and Green splashed in on the design of Hotporntubes' name on the homepage.

    Anyway, except if you’re a house designing enthusiast I really don’t think you’ll give half a shit about what type of color this porn site comes in. If you’re more the type to design your room, bathroom, and kitchen on occasion with bucket loads of your jizz then what you really wanna know is just what type of content to expect, just how big the titties on the models are here, and what quality the videos are. The regular shit.

    I’m currently on the homepage to give it my expert eye and let’s just say this website doesn’t like to beat around the bush when it comes to showing videos to beat your meat to. These guys are trying to fit in an unholy amount of niche porn sections with thumbnails on that homepage. It reminds me exactly of a bukkake party mixed in with multiple penetrations all at once. There are 213 of those sections on display so good luck trying to make a quick choice.

    By instinct, I’ve been on the hunt for Ads so that I may slay them and fuck their skulls in like real men did in the good old days, but I have not seen any so far. I was itching for that fucking but I’m also relieved that I don’t have to do any fighting when all I wanna do is fap to whatever smut this porn site throws at me.

    I’m ready to finally get a good hard look at a video on Hotporntubes to see if it’s a steamy enough experience or just another hot piece of garbage not fit to get hard to even if it was the last porn site on this green earth and you had to wank to save your life.

    I choose the section on the home screen called Perfect because I too, am not here to beat around the bush but also mostly because the porn star on the thumbnail; Emma Mae has those dick-sucking lips that are like a sweet siren song when you’re lost at sea. And just like a Siren’s call I fell into the trap of being taken to another porn site with Ads on steroids called ok.xxx after I choose the video of Emma in this section.

    Seeing that the section called Perfect was clearly false advertising I’m going to the rough part of town. I arrive at my destination; a section called Rough. I go straight for any video my horny ass can find. Thanks for the blue balls by the way Emma Mae!

    I came here for rough so I go for the closest thumbnail showing a slut being gang banged by men that look like it’s the first time in a long time that they’ve seen a human woman after living in Caves on a deserted island or something. I’m not impressed with having to watch an Ad before the video slowly loads. With all the time lost, I almost finished up a crossword puzzle and learned a new hobby.

Hotporntubes menu undressed and revealed

    Away from the homepage is where this porn site hides more of its dirty secrets. The menu has 6 sections; Home, Pornstars, Categories, Best porn sites, Live Cams, and Dating.

    Categories will give you the keys to this porn kingdom since this is where you can open a path through the tags to get to the exact freaky shit that turns you on. There are about a hundred tags here and also the icon to click and search for the particular one that tickles your fancy till you cum.

    Best home porn sites take you to another website showing you a countdown of the top porn sites to look out for. And big surprise, Hotporntubes doesn’t even make the top 50 there. Talk about a brutal betrayal!

    While Home takes you to the homepage, the rest of the sections like Live Cams and Dating seem like they are waiting by the corner with a giant stick waiting to have a “polite” talk with you. Live cams take you to some shady website while Dating welcomes you to an even more shady website that isn’t in English.

    Saving the most popular for the last I’ll be checking out the Pornstars section. This is for when you’re tired of exploring the random videos on the porn site and you’d rather stop being adventurous and instead go find a much tested familiar face that you have fond memories of wanking to their videos like Johnny Sins for example. Okay maybe I could’ve said Sophia Leone or Sunny Leone or Kendra Lust but too late, now you can’t get Johnny’s big bald head out of your mind.

What The Porn Guy Thinks of Hotporntubes

    Even though the name of this porn site was hastily made under extreme duress, they do try to put some effort to give your wank some meaning.

    On their porn site’s homepage, Horporntubes.com boasts about having the hugest collection of HD porn videos and blah blah blah about how it grows every day but no one really gives a flying fuck about that. What we want is not to have to motorboat major Ads before getting to watch porn. They may not get 5 stars from me but they get just enough stars from me for you to check them out and see if their contents would have you jacking it till you see stars.