HotClassicPorn

HotClassicPorn.com

    HotClassicPorn has made the PornGuy almost rethink his undying love for vintage sex because, for a classical fucker like me, I only believe in the gospel of cum release. The loveable thing about vintage porn is the honesty in the scenes. No fake moaning, just a pure mature display of retro fucking.

    Despite being a simple guy with a large boner and a high tolerance for bad sex, I was tested on this site like few others have. In the end, after overcoming all the obstacles placed before me, I was able to have the cum release I needed, and here is my review of HotClassicPorn.

Old Fashioned Classic Porn Dump

    Call me crazy, but PornGuy believes if you claim to be a porn site, you have to at least give the audience a little taste of the action. It’s true that I often talk about my enormous cock and being able to satisfy four girls at once, and I do it frequently, so it’s easy for me to remember. But when you hear HotClassicPorn, you’d think you are in for a special intro to very steaming vintage porn, and you will be sorely disappointed.

    Honestly, the homepage looks like a hot mess, but it’s not the kind of cum mess you would leave on a cheating stay-at-home wife who has been starved of good cock bashing by her husband. I know the idea is to give the site a retro feel and to add class, but PornGuy was so unimpressed with what I was viewing that I nearly yelled out.

    The top left had a HotClassicPorn.com logo with a Tubes tab beside it. Clicking the Tubes tab will open a blank screen with some vintage classic porn categories, and selecting any of the categories will show you a list of videos that you can’t watch on the site. Just like a fake viagra pill that, rather than giving you a stiff cock, gives you a stiff ass, you get disappointed here too.

    Probably the only part of this site that woke my cock back up was the Tags tab when I clicked it. This tab contained an extensive collection of porn categories, from all holes to vixen porn.

Hot Classic? More Like Hot Mess!

    PornGuy is a pretty generous giver. Ask the ladies, because if their pussies could talk, they would tell you stories of wonderful hardcore creamy satisfaction. So disappointing me is a huge task, that is why my rage at HotClassicPorn is fury red fiery flames of anger. There is a row of very average classic porn movies on the homepage, and boy, do they look average. But for the sake of not wasting a boner, I selected one, and I mean, after mentally blocking and ignoring all the pop-up ads when I clicked on a video. Pressing the play button on any video I choose will redirect me to another site where you have to register and pay to watch the video.

    What a colossal waste of space this site has been. You’d see the porn gallery with all the clothed porn thumbnails, and yet if that doesn’t disappoint you enough, you get ads below too. It is like a pussy filled with chlamydia, as every video is a tease and you can’t stream or download anything from the site.

What The PornGuy thinks of HotClassicPorn

    This is more or less a poor excuse for a vintage porn site, pure and simple. This is, at best, a simple directory with links to other porn sites.