HammerPorno

HammerPorno.xxx

    I am here with my Hammerporno.xxx review to shine a light on this porn site. I’m not sure what hammers have to do with smacking your meat except if this was a BDSM-related site. I just hoped to not see men smashing their balls. I am kinky but I don’t think I’m that kinky.

    So, without further ado I want you to join me on the quest for info. Along the way, you can enlighten your balls depending on how great this site might be.

Get Hammered On Smut!

    As I got on this site I had to hope that this site wasn’t named that way because of the crushing experience your balls will feel after spending time on the porn site. I found out that the site originated from Germany. That explained why the name of the site sounded so violent. I would have preferred a name like Soft-as-pillow-porno or something along those lines. The content was gonna be what would determine if this site gets a thumbs up or cocks down.

    The design of the site looked attractive and I had been on a lot of boring-looking German sites recently. It had a dark theme with some splashes of pink to give it a cyberpunk look. The site was not in English so you are gonna want to get your browser’s auto-translation to do its work. Even if you have the best auto-translator, some words just won’t budge. If you experience that then you’re better off moving on to what you do understand.

    I had been looking everywhere for Ads but I hadn’t really seen any. There was one banner that showed an ebony lady milking a cock on her face. It could have been an Ad but I wasn’t clicking around to find out. On the top of the homepage, there were options for Live Chat and Sex Cams. The sex cams may lead you to some actual cams but I wasn’t so sure about the Live Chat section. You would end up chatting with some greasy dude who hasn’t left his sweaty basement in months.

Nailing Hammerporno!

    The site didn’t exactly nail their thumbnails. Thumbnails are supposed to be fun. They’re supposed to capture the exact moment when the most erotic thing is happening in the porn video. On this site, I saw close-up shots of pussy flaps and gaping assholes. Maybe they needed somebody in charge of that. I would’ve volunteered but my schedule is pretty packed with so many orgies to attend. I’m sure you all would choose the orgies too.

    At the bottom of the homepage, there was a long as fuck write-up from the site. The site was too busy beating its chest to realize that nobody is gonna read that shit when they want to be busy beating their meat. The site had been around since 2016 and it hadn’t learned any lessons in all that time. Less is more and more focus on the porn means less impatient wankers giving up and fucking off to other porn sites.

    Out of sheer curiosity, I clicked on their webcam option. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I seriously doubted that the site was running its own virtual strip club. I was right. They were partnered up with another site to bring you this strip show. Since I didn’t notice any Ads this might explain how this site can make some money. I left the webcam section after a couple of minutes of quick exploration. I wanted to find a video on the porn site to watch.

Under The Hammer!

    The first video I watched played without a glitch. I was glad to see the site hosted the video. Usually, some sites would make you visit another partnered site to watch a video, and while on that partnered site, your holes won’t be safe from the mountain load of vicious Ads. I’m pretty sure a lot of you know what I mean. Everyone has met those types of Ads. The only issue I had was that I didn’t see where to download the videos. Maybe that was asking too much of a site like this.

    I liked the part under the video where they dedicate a little time to write a little about what is going on in the video in vivid detail. “Young blonde gets her juicy pussy wrecked by a monster cock…”. There was a part on the page for dropping a comment but none of the videos I watched had any comment. Maybe the wankers coming to this site are gentlemen who wouldn’t wank and tell.

    The site had impressed me here and there and also disappointed me in some parts. The time had come for the site to know its fate. This was Pornsite’s Got Talent and I was the sole judge. The site didn’t need to shake in its boots because I found it decent. It may not be spectacular but at least I could see efforts to improve it. And that is what matters.

What The Porn Guy Thinks Of Hammerporno

    This site had an attractive welcome with their design but their content was also as pretty. They may not have a lot of modern niche porn but the ones they do have would satisfy any horny wanker. I was particularly glad to see that the site hosted its own videos but I would have liked a download button so I could come to it anytime I want without having to be on the porn site. Still, it was a fun site to be on and that’s why Hammerporno gets a recommendation!