Escortify, Escortify

Escortify Review

~ Pros ~

Lit website

Detailed escort profiles

Has fine sluts and dudes

Tons of verified assholes and cunts to pour your cum into

~ Cons ~ 

❌ Not every escort is verified

❌ Relatively few escorts

❌ No advanced search


    Plenty of sweet things can happen in your life once you get all escortified! Like you are gonna feel ten feet tall just because you fucked a chick in all of her holes 20 times in an hour and walloped her pussy so brutally that it has no other option than to put your cock on its list of state sponsors of snatch terrorism to watch out for! Yeah, escortify your life fellas, till loads of escort pussies run for the hills whenever they hear you are in town!

    Here is my Escortify.co.nz review. Read it and weep so I can have enough motivation to make every nearby teen thot snatch leak and leave many a slick!

With More Money Comes More Fab Cunts!

    Bitten into many a fab cunt? Well, here’s to hoping you are still eager to bite into loads more, and that’s because the escorts on Escortify are all world-class sluts with fab privates that are guaranteed to drip with honey and pureed caviar! Yeah, sucking them cunts is all the balanced diet you will ever need, and booking the escorts who own these oft-hairy patches of real estate means that a spoon has gotta be in your front pocket always, so that the cunt crud these sluts are always brewing down there never goes to waste when it can be spooned down your gullet!

    Now, the least you are gonna pay per hour to pick up a chick on this site is 100 NZD. The top rate is 500 NZD and not too many girls charge that, which should be good news for your bank account balance.

    Nora Lingam Massage, which is run by a 28-year-old tall and curvy chick named Lola, is one of the cheaper escorts here. She has D-cup boobs, and is willing to get down and nasty with men or women. Lola is of Asian ancestry and performs lingam massages that will get cum shooting out of your cock hard enough to cripple any elephant it should meet! Apart from erotic massages, she offers full services, plus the opportunity to spray your cum on her boobs or booty.

    Want to hand your cock over to Lola so she can take it to orgasm land with you in tow? Well then, you gotta fork over 100 NZD for a 30-minute session, 140 NZD for an hour, and NZD 400 for 2 hours. That’s $61, $86, and $246.7 respectively.

    Natalie on the other hand is Chinese and has the body of a model, which she is. Her tits are small, but as gravity-defying as a stone outcrop and as exquisitely shaped as a Ming vase. This babe has slightly muscled legs, a fat cunt and a small booty that my middle finger looks made for plugging up! Natalie loves to travel and make love and is good for anal XXX, threesomes, oral XXX, golden showers, gang bangs, BJs, GFE, full services, and more.

    180 NZD, 250 NZD, and NZD 500 buys you 30 minutes, an hour, and 2 hours of her time respectively. That’s $111, $154, and $308 respectively.

    Last but not least is Kylie. She’s a slim Thai with a very interesting set of breasties who offers oil massages, with other stuff costing extra. Kylie is 24 years old, has DD cup tits that are too plump and perfect to be natural, and is slim and pretty. She charges just 50 NZD for a half hour and 79 NZD for a full hour and that’s cheap as an apple pudding fuck! In USD, her rates are 30 and 48 dollars respectively and that’s barely more than the cost of a good dinner in a good restaurant.

    Well, escorts on this New Zealand escort site are relatively cheap. In the main, most of the rates posted here compare favorably with what US thots, sluts, and cream milkers charge. It is easy to get ahold of a chick here who will get nasty with you for 30 minutes to an hour for around a hundred smackeroos and for sure she will let you shoot your cum into her as far is it would go without giving her a stomach upset!

Pump That Cunt All Full!

    Looking for escorts in the cunt-filled island that’s New Zealand? Plenty of them chicks are on the Escortify.com.nz homepage and you should have no trouble booking and pumping their cunts full of your juices till there’s enough sperm in their cervix to give you a million and a half babies!

    Tabs and options atop the homepage allow sorting by sex, and location. So, if you want male, female or trans escorts, they are available and their profiles can fill up your screen with just a single click. Similarly, if you need escorts in certain New Zealand cities, that too can be done right quick. You can also check out only those escorts that offer sensual and erotic massages, or focus on agency escorts.

    That said, I do not think that Escortify.com.nz has anywhere near the number of escorts it claims to have and there are no advanced search options here. You can use the provided search bar to search for escorts by name, phone number, verification status, Asian or non -Asian ancestry, and the presence or absence of videos in profiles. But that is not advanced enough for me.

    Now, there are escorts with the VIP badge here, as well as some verified profiles. And yeah, it is possible to be a VIP escort with an unverified profile, which is a crock of fresh Polynesian cannibal shit! And oh, there are diamond escorts too and nearly all of these chicks seem to have fab bubble butts of immense dick-engorging power!

    Escort profile thumbnails on this site are among the most detailed I have clapped eyes on. They are reasonably big too and the information on these thumbnails includes the rates charged, the age, length, and weight of the escort, plus his/her name, phone number, and a very short descriptive text. There’s also a blue mark that indicates a verified profile and if the escort is a VIP that will be indicated on the thumbnail. Also present is a green circle that says the escort whose profile thumbnail you are looking at is currently online.

    I generally found escort profiles here to be a delight to go through. They are well arranged and detailed and usually contain multiple hi-res images that can be browsed through in slideshow format. A few profiles have videos. It is also possible to browse from one escort profile to the next by using the back-and-forth arrow buttons provided for that purpose, which means you don’t have to go back to the main page to continue your escort exploration journey.

    As regards quality, the escorts on Escortify are assuredly above average. They aren’t the best, but they are a good deal better than most.

No Limit Fucks Given!

    Class and style are what the Escortify.com.au homepage represents. I love the page design and color, but there’s a brief About Us at the top of the homepage that clutters things up and is unnecessary, more so as there’s a more exhaustive About Us at the bottom of the homepage.

    Site features here are average and you can’t get a membership card unless you are in New Zealand at the moment. Use a VPN to sign up and the site admin swears he’s gonna get you and might chop you into fish bait! But then you don’t need to register before calling the number of any escort you fancy and either booking a plane ticket so she can make the trip to the states or conning her out of pieces of her cunt!

    There are no spam or ads, but there are plenty of escorts on the site who say they want your throbbing and warm hard-on in them or they are gonna freeze to death real soon!

What I Think of Escortify

    I love the site name, the site look, and most of its escorts. The relative lack of user options and the fact that only fellas in New Zealand can register here does not sit well with me though. Still, I would give this escorts New Zealand site two thumbs up, and the site admin better not sit on and sack out on those thumbs!

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