AustraliaCracker

AustraliaCracker

    Here in the states, calling a fella a cracker is an excellent thing to do when you need urgent dental treatment but can’t afford it and want the procedure performed by the iron fists of an enraged white dude! I don’t know how they do it in Australia and would guess that the term cracker is either inoffensive or used to mean something great and mighty, as so many escorts and their twerking booties are! So, cracker the fuck away on that continent!

    AustraliaCracker.com.au is the focus of today’s review. So, gird your loins my wanking army to read, learn, prosper and fuck a duck on command!

Better Crack Her Back On The First Stroke!

    Escorts are supposed to be masters of sex and to have seen and done it all. I guess that means you are free to crack their backs once you shove it in hard enough for their nipples to fall off, before settling down and jackhammer-banging them so hard they get bowlegged overnight and need to go to the emergency room to get glued/sewn together!

    Now, let’s talk about escort rates and prices. One of the profiles advertised the charms of an escort called Tina. She’s Thai, and is described as a MILF, but looks to be in her mid-twenties. Tina is pretty, slim, and curvy and there’s a tight butt in her backyard that looks set to be buttered up and split apart for the mightiest cock insertion known to boner-blessed mankind! Her tits are small and gravity-defying and she’s available 24 hours every day.

    This Adelaide escort charges AUD 150, AUD 200, and AUD 250 for 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and an hour of incalls respectively, with outcalls of course being more expensive. These rates in USD are $101, $134, and $168 and that’s not too bad.

    Brisbane has Sofia, an Asian beauty with more curves than the last 20 ladies I met with could collectively boast of! Sofia is slim and easy on the eyes, loves to give and receive pleasure, and can be mild and gentle or steamy and impatient. She looks like the sort of chick to piss in your mouth while you are sleeping, just because she felt like and if you wanna book her then be ready to cough up AUD 250 for an incall hour and AUD 400 for an outcall hour. That’s $168 and $269 respectively and okay enough.

    And so we shift to Alana Rose. She calls Sydney home and is one of those petite sluts with big breasts that looks like it gives them all shades of backache and toothache! She’s apparently a student who works part-time as an escort and can act as your girlfriend and best friend. For sure you need a friend like her in your life, if only so you can smear her cunt juices on your toast every morning and ecstatically dine away!

    AUD 180, AUD 250, AUD 350, AUD 400, AUD 600, AUD 700, and AUD 900 are her rates for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour, 1.5 hours, 2 hours, and 3 hours respectively. In USD these rates are $121, $168, $235.7, $269, $404, $471, and $606.

    AustraliaCracker.com.au is not an elite escort site. That means its escorts are cheap but not as cheap as most American escorts. Escort rates on this escorts Australia site vary a lot depending on how many minutes or hours were booked. That said, you can book a chick here for $100 to $300 per half hour and that’s a little steep in my opinion.

An Average Escort Still Has A Cunt You Can Fuck!

    AustraliaCracker.com.au has babes and dudes all over Australia. Right from the homepage, you can select escorts from different Australian cities who are into different kinds of naughty stuff. There is however no advanced search and a missing feature like that usually makes me angry enough to engage in combative sex with giant porcupines!

    The escort profile thumbnails here mostly lack that lush and deep color that speaks of quality. Escort profiles are also not arranged in a very orderly manner and the images found there tend to be low-res stuff that looks like it was taken 2 decades ago with a Nokia feature phone!

    Quality-wise, the cunts, dudes, and trans people here are average and I suspect that most of the pictures posted in profiles are as fake as the three dollar bill found in Pocahontas’ back pocket! Needless to say, there are no verified escorts here, or those with premium or VIP labels and the lack of verification means you gotta keep your eyes peeled when booking sluts from this site, or you could end up ordering a petite 19-year old and get a 59-year old Asian MILF who can’t speak a lick of English other than “fuck” and “fuck you asshole”!

Crack That Beer And Get On A Pussy Ride!

    AustraliaCracker has a good website with loads of color and detail. Dig deeper though and your expectations start getting shot to bits!

    You can login and register for free here, but only if there’s a pussy you are selling. And as I have said before, finding chicks here is easy, with a list of Australian cities pasted below the main tabs and other options to search for escorts by the services they are offering and by gender. No advanced searches are possible though and you can’t even sort through the escorts here by price, which is arguably the most important sorting criteria of them all.

    Got a few minutes? Well, there’s a FAQ at the bottom of the site homepage, and check it out to add value to your escort-hinting cock!

    And oh, there are no ads in evidence here, but spam abounds.

What I Think Of AustraliaCracker

    While this site worked without hitches, it failed to impress at any level. Its escorts are unverified too and that is the biggest reason behind my decision not to recommend this escorts Australian site for anything other than a quick look-see and a fart bomb attack!